Tonight will be when I cave. I held out last night; stopped myself, was able to go without giving in to the urge. But today it's too strong, today I'm weak. He said he's proud of me for getting through last night, that if I did it then I can get through it today, and tomorrow, and any other time I like. It doesn't work like that. I've held out for longer this time; longer than usual and it's...

It hurts that you would say that.It hurts how you constantly bitch about me behind my back.Yeah, I know you'll read this, but I dunno. I don't know if I care anymore.There's just so much you don't know, so much you don't understand.I'm crazy about him. I love him. I love him so much it hurts not to be near him, it tears me apart when I have to leave him.You're saying I'm 'up myself' since I...