STFU.STFU STFU STFU.YOU GO TO ORCHESTRA 20 DAYS A WEEK AND SEE IF YOU WORK FOR BIOLOGY.AND PLEASE FINISH THE COURSE FIRST BEFORE YOU START THAT PAST PAPER NONSENSE.IT'S ME THAT SHOULD BE WORRIED. KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT. AM I NOT ALLOWED TO SLEEP? DO I HAVE TO REVISE ENZYMES ALL THE TIME? CAN I SIT DOWN PLEASE?AND DON'T TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK EITHER. I'M SO BORING, I COULDN'T CHEAT ON A TEST IF I...

Hm.1. Toilet roll fell from the sky. Not even just a few strips, but a whole roll. Indeed. I think a cloud somewhere hates me, if it pisses itself then drop its bog roll on my head.2. Chére Maman nearly punched an employee of HMV because apparently "he got a fair look at your arse." Thanks Mum.3. My Disney tiara works just as well for keeping my fringe back. It also has better aesthetic appeal.4....

I have officially written the most disgusting song ever. Well, "song" is putting it loosely. More of a crimp, really, á la The Mighty Boosh.I was revising for biology, trying to remember things and soonsoforthetceteraetcetera, so I thought that putting the things that I couldn't remember in songs would help. And it did and all! I was crimping here, crimping there, crimping diagonal, crimping...

"Over 30 years ago a woman named Dorothy Retallack conducted experiments using music, plants and their combined environment. These results are famous.Taking two identical sets of plants in two separated but identical rooms, she exposed them to music. The first set of plants were played quiet placid subdued devotional "religious" classical music, while the other set were subjected to loud...