5/24/2012I still love the stars. I will always love the stars.No matter who leaves me mangled or hopelessly distraught,I will always whisper wishes to the sky.5/26/2012I'm lonely. Even when I'm not alone.I guess I'm good at passing time, but thats not how I want to live. I try really hard to be a good person. But even with that, I have selfish intentions.Because eventually good shit happens to...

I needed this summer. To clear my head and get away. I escaped my moms house with flying colors, and I guess I'm adapting okay at my dads. I saw the ocean. Fell in love with that instead of some predictable boy. ONE MORE YEAR. Not even that, really.I don't hate myself anymore. I've become quite the optimist, mostly. I shaved part of my head, got a tattoo. Had a few adventures. Life is good.I've...

Crazy day. My mom kicked me out. Took my car keys and my phone. She drove me and my friend Kelcie [she was conned into helping me pack] to the street corner, then dropped us off along with my junk. Because my dad isnt allowed on the property, she said.I felt like crying. I had just said my goodbyes to my sisters and went through all those bloody yelling matches with mother dear. So I sat on my...

For the past three years I've tried being happy in a place I don't belong. My mom used to be my hero, so I've been trying for her. But I can NOT stand my stepfather. I have a high tolerence for bs, but he has some talent for making me an outsider. So I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that everyone would be better off if I lived with my father.She screamed so many things that hurt....

So last night I swam out to the depths of some lake with some friends I'm reconnecting with. Our plan was to reach the damn wall, then back again. But you know how plans work.TJ made me laugh so hard I started sinking. He saved my life though, which is why we keep him around.Then we went to some cliffs today. Crazy heights make me happy. Adrenaline makes me fly.TJ was back flipping off the fifty...

So i feel the need to share this story. Because who really knows these days, with the way children are?Once upon a time I got conned into painting kindergardeners faces for track and field day.[I love kids, but in groups they frighten me.]So there I am, doing what I do, painting a heart on this little boys face. Then out of nowhere, and very enthusiastically, he goes "YOU WORK AT WOODS!" [which is...

So, I don't know about all this. Love and other peculiarities. I used to think I knew what love was. At one time. But now that I'm left alone, with plenty of time to dissect and think, I've come to some conclusions.Love never leaves someone. It doesn't just change its mind. Love is supposed to last.So I've definitely never known it.I don't know if i'll ever learn. I trust SO easily. As if people...

So... I have this great talent at staying out of drama at my school, right? I'm just here to learn and sleep, people. Usually I don't even participate with school stuff. But for some reason I've always had a soft spot for prom... I can't even dance and I know it'll be lame. ALL I WANT TO DO IS WEAR THE DRESS, GUYS. But of course, it can't be so simple.At first I was just going solo. You know,...

Yet another breakdown. You'd think I'd be out of spares by now, you know?Either that or used to pain. I have such a high tolerance. But its just not enough. We won't even talk anymore. He told me so last night. He used to be my best friend. I could tell him anything. Then love screwed that up. Then I screwed love up. We've been trying to go back to how we were. Friends. But there's just too much...

I am capable of remedies.Because tonight I went to Denny's at nano hours in the morning and then to a park.I swang like a maniac with a good friend and talked about the deep and finer things of life.I skidded my feet across puddles and not once did I feel the weight of my mistakes.For some reason swing sets always make me feel human.Maybe its the way my hair flys or perhaps it is only lack of...

I hate how I feel like I always need something. Some call it a void, I guess. I've tried all the common dirt to try and fill it. No go.I no longer trust my own judgement. See what happens is I only see the good in people, so I'm like "Yeah, okay. I believe you. Even though I've heard it before and logically you'll just toss me when your done." Maybe I need to learn emotional self defense. If...

I swear, I love dying my hair. It makes me renewed.I feel like I'm balancing on the ledge of a cliff today, but for once I have confidence in my balance. (Thank God for those gymnastic classes I took in first grade.)I am ready for whatever is thrown my way.Like that concert tomorrow. Oh boy. =]I had a dream the other night. A strange one.I was at a Framing Hanley concert and somehow got to talk to...

So I'm writing a lullaby for my little sisters/ every other little girl in the world. But I'm not much of a song writer and hopefully I won't screw it up because I actually like the first few lines.-Sweet little girl, don't you change your ways.This world is cruel and you'll have to be brave.But don't let that stop you.From dreaming.(Thats the only part I'm sure about.The rest is rough...

Today I am care free. Almost child-like. Perhaps it is just the last of the dentists happy gas stuff running through my system, but I'm not complaining.The world is my oyster or however it goes. =]I need to be like this all the time. I'm not fretting or calculating my movements with great precision. At this very moment I'm not scared at all about tomorrow or the next day.I should visit the nice...

I hate feeling like I need something. Some void I just have to fill.It dawned on me that I'm not good at filling voids. I'm so self destructive. I wish I could learn how to be okay, you know? Take up yoga or knitting or some healthy outlet.Writing helps sometimes. But even then, sometimes I feel betrayed by my words. They fall short.For some reason, I always seem to be waiting for something....

I've done so well with not talking to him. But last night he texted me asking me to please talk to him. I said he's better off. But of course that led to more which led to an argument which also led to me feeling confused with how I feel and wanting to rip my hair out.He has her. Why should he need me? Why should I need him? I don't.I told him he needs to concentrate on her.Because supposedly...

So I have this good, crazy friend of mine who is teaching me how to read palms. I'm excited.He says its much more complicated than people assume but I'm ready to do my homework for once.Apparently, I have a prince charming after all. I even know his first initial. =pAnd I know when i'm supposed to die.But he told me not to get too caught up in it. He doesn't really believe in it, but i don't...

I am a thinker. Or at least in my own definition. Others would sayI am lost in daydreams, or even venture to call me spacey. In any matter,I am myself. Maybe for the first time.I am glad that I'm not over-the-top pretty. And not in the 'obviously, I'm fishing for compliments' way that cause people to roll their eyes and muster up some sort of valid argument. NO.I am genuinely pleased that...

The night dissolved as we drove. I bade it to stay.But, like you, it had made it's decision. The sky faded into day and the countdown began.We had hours. When you had anticipated forever, hours are weak. Fragile. Like my pulse.You seemed okay. Functional. But I guess I would have too. If you didn't know what to look for.We have always been too good at pretending. That was our problem.I knew it was...

All things Truly Wicked start from an Innocence.-Ernest Hemingway-People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used.The reason why the world is in chaos, is because things are being loved,and people are being used.-not sure-To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.-Oscar Wilde-You never know what will happen tomorrow. Carpe the hell out of this...