so today i had d0octers said its all natural and i just need a relief if only he knew!! but na i wouldn tell him in detail cos i don like bein upset so i was told to do some walking lol. oh yea im a cock too cos i not lettin bell see nat at other peoples houses how could i possibly stick that responsibility on another she just asttention seeking eugh it does get old.realised today not been puttin...

commited as i was i pondered the risk of our questions for any question truthfully asked for the answer must carry an incalculable price. Frim inteview with a vampire page 153 a good book a little tedious at first. But yea enough of that i was havin a great day but that suddenly changed so tired of life it seems to creep up on me. But i ate easier today than i did yesterday not a lot by my usual...

Havint the same thoughts over an over again running round my head.cant get rid of em stopping me from sleeping. i wanna just blurt stuff out but cant its not in my power and it would do little good anyway. Eugh iv never felt so tired stressed and alone. might sound weak an pathetic but im not bothered what people think any more anxiety attacks are back too great. Life just keeps givin it at...

I dunno how but iv started t feel emotions a lot more often. that may sound weird but iv always been very good at controling my emotions. I lost that along the way it seems i have one question when? I remember talkin and wantin to tallk for the first time in years not just goin threww the motions for family and friends sake. I dunno i no i have my problems but i enjoy my solitude but now i dont...

So i told bel again that there will be no contact till social services are involved. I may be being selfish watching out for my own health and well being but in reality how long would it be before nathan started noticing things>I cant keep happy as larry round nathan if im run into the ground.Way i see it im stuck in a bad situation and i have no easy way out been miserable for ages doin wat i...

Some things need to be said for other people to read my journals. I am a single parent nathan hes a rock star only true light in my life. His mum has severe mental health problems. Ive tried to support her but it wasnt easy and the stress inescapable. I am not a saint in all this i don claim to be but when alls said and done. I am at my wits end. so yea im 21!! I am extremely introverted have...

Life is really difficult at the minuite but im managing but a good friend pointed out some things that shocked me. I have become paranoid and distrustfull seeing double meanings and shadows every where even of my friend. Which i now regret badly but im more shocked by wat i have done. Theres one thing i cant stand and its a trust being broken. I did it after preaching. So im such a hypocrit a mess...

So yea it made me worry but its so horrifying in reality people would o felt sick I dunno how i managed this long i was just gettin on with it but its one of them i think its come to an end. I cant do this anymore she cant understand it. She just keeps saying im takin him away from her all the time. I ignored things that would of made other people run a mile. Im so upset these days i didn want...

So i told bel today bout my decision and as predicted i was barraged wit her sayin so much for not takin him away from me they wont let me see him etc. How can she not understand that its doin me no good sacrificing my life. So she can see nat i tried doin it 8 months of petty lies arguements and stress enough. Not sayin im innocent every one knows im an arse when im in a mood but she thinks i did...