The blog entry that I posted that you told me should be posted as a poem was not a poem. I know because I wrote it. The choppy format? That was pure raw emotion, not some type of poetry that I was trying to create. If the spaces hadn't been there would it have been an acceptable blog entry? I chose to post it as a blog because I was spilling out my guts in the least poetic way imaginable. Sobbing...

Have you ever played the game, what's yours like? Where you're all given a word except for one person, who has to guess what the word was based on your description of "What yours is like". For example once when I was playing the word was hands. And people gave hints like, "Mine are small" or "Mine are warm" or my personal favorite/the one that gave it away, "Mine get the job done". But anyway I...

I can feel it happening again.The depression.I feel it, starting like it did before. Swallowing me whole.I don't want it. I don't deserve it. There are so many people who have it so much worse than I do. But here I am, the selfish bitch that I am, crying all of the time, and feeling that craving that itch to destroy myself all over again.It's not fair. I was doing so well. I was so proud of...

I honestly no longer feel like I matter to anyone besides my parents. And if I didn't love them so goddamn much I doubt if I could keep holding on to this all. I just. Ugh.I have a really great boyfriend. He's wonderful and he loves me, and thinks I'm too good for him. But that's not even remotely true. He's way too good for me. I don't know what he sees in me. I'm short and "curvy" and a total...

I know how ridiculous this might sound, but right now, I just want to spend some time appreciating that you are alive.I could sit here for hours watching you do the most mundane of things; breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping. Anything and everything. Because there was a period of tie, no matter how brief, that I wasn't sure I'd ever get to see any of that again.You scared me sweetheart, you...

I write a lot of blogs about the things going on in my life. They're rarely anything but sad, bitter, or angry. But this one, this is for my best friend.Hailums I am thankful for you everyday of my life. I have friends, hell I have best friends, and then there's you. You are the best friend that everyone should have.Literally our relationship is like the ones I was always jealous of in movies and...

I'm so fucking done.After everything I've finally had it. There is no coming back from this one. Two days ago you were telling me how much you loved me and that you'd give me the world were it in your power. I never wanted the world you dumbass. It was always just you.Then on prom night, fucking prom night. At the fucking prom you tell me that you love me, you love your girlfriend, but more than...

I used to love to write. Like not the kind of love where you've been told you're good at something so you just keep doing it love. Like it was the one thing I knew I could count on.But my brain is such a disaster and I can't write anymore. I won't say I was the best writer ever but I was good. What I lacked in skill I made up for in passion.I don't know when the darkness got this bad. This ever...

Basically I just hate myself. No specific part of me, all of me.I hate how my thighs touch. And how curvy I am. I hate the way my hair falls, parted down the middle-not special at all. I hate that I’m blind without glasses or contacts. I hate the way my eyes crinkle shut when I smile or laugh. I hate my tiny feet. I hate that I’m five feet and two inches tall. I hate that I weigh 132 lbs. I...

A few months back I made a deal with him.We agreed that if we still felt strongly about each other, and weren't in other relationships, we would give dating a chance this summer. We said that it would be okay, because no matter how ugly it is if it ends, we will go back to being friends.Most people would say that's impossible, but they don't know us. We fight like you've never seen before, just...

I can't even begin to explain what is going on in my mind right now.He told me he loved me. Me being the dumbass that I am, I bought into it. I knew better. I knew he didn't love me. He was using me. But he knew that he could get what he wanted from me if he said that he loved me.I've never told a guy that I was in love with them before. Ever. It makes you vulnerable, and honestly I've only felt...

You make me so crazy. You make me want to scream, and cry, and tear my fucking hair out. You make me want to smile and laugh and kiss you until I'm completely out of breath. Sometimes I want to just push you off a cliff. But then I know I'd run to the bottom and catch you before you could get a single scratch.You say you love me. And you have no fucking idea how much I want to believe you when you...

We aren't ever going to be a fairytale. And I've accepted that.We like each other a lot, but we always fuck it up. One or both of us. And when you can't have me is the only time you make your feelings particularly clear to me. And we are such a disaster of a pair. But being with anyone else just doesn't feel right anymore.The other night you said that no girl compares to me. That even when you do...

I just want to make everyone understand me.I hate when people are upset with me. It’s not like I chose to be this way. Life made me this way.I’m sorry.I’m sorry for being so skeptical, for never believing anyone who claims to care.I’m sorry for being sad so often, I know it’s annoying but if I could just stop like everyone wants, trust me I would.I’m sorry for every scar that marrs my...

"You're a weirdo :P""Yeah but you love me!""Do I though? Do I really?""Really. Truly. You love me and that's part of the problem. If that is indeed a problem.""What do you mean?""You said that you loving me was a problem."I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Really it's the last thing I want to do. So I told you it wasn't really a problem, just something scary.But that's the thing, because I...

"It's because you love me.""What?!""Let's face it. We both know you don't react to these things the way you have with me. You liked those other guys but you love me.""I...don't know""That's exactly what it is. Love clouds your mind and judgement""Well if that's what it is I don't want it.""We don't choose who we fall in love with. That's a matter of fate.""Well either way I'm going to get over it....

"I'm fine""It's ok""Everything is great""I understand""I don't need help""It doesn't hurt"All these things I'm saying, because they're what everyone else wants to hear, and what I wish I could say to them. But they aren't true.I am not fine. I'm actually a train-wreck on the inside. I'm torn, I don't know what to do or say to make things right for myself.It isn't okay. I don't deserve this. I'm...

Okay so here's the deal... my best friend and I are looking for fun/creative fund-raising ideas. Our Relay For Life team is trying to find some exciting fundraiser ideas, so that we can raise as much money as possible for the American Cancer Society, as we have all been touched by the disease.We have some ideas, but we are going to be continuously looking for more for the next few months. So, if...

I'm sorry.I'm sorry I'm never good enough.I'm sorry I've got to deal with my own problems.I'm sorry I can't take on everyone else's problems too.I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry that I need to be alone sometimes.I'm sorry that I don't respond when I don't think someone's going to like what I have to say.I'm sorry I have so many issues. I'm sorry that I think no one cares. I'm sorry that I...

Maybe it's silly.I just like looking at your house every once in a while. Or maybe every time I pass by. I like pretending like you're gonna pull into your driveway soon. Like we are gonna be going over to your house to eat pizza and hang out. I like to pretend for just a few minutes that you're ok. I like to pretend like I'm going to see you again, like I didn't lose you. I like looking at your...