i dreamt of you last night nors.you came over to our place, something hadn't done for ages before you died. the whole family was there for you, even sam. you were frail, smaller, but you weren't in a wheelchair. you clung to mum, who was smiling for the first time in months, and i ran up to you, so surprised and happy. you were so small that i had to get down on my knees when i hugged and kissed...

i'm coming to terms with the fact that you're gone.i just didn’t think the last time i’d see you would be gram's funeral. you said a hymn, so clear and strong, and i stumbled over my stories about the ants in the cupboard like i hadn’t been on the debating team for the past five years.it all comes back to funerals. it’s like some sick circle, so wrong.you were so young. twenty. i had to go...