So, there may or may not be this girl, whom I thought was great for me at one point, that may have lied to my face. Not only that, but she lied to my best friend (practically brother) as well. To top it all off, she recently, apparently I don't know the whole story, cheated on her current boyfriend, lied to him, and then accepted his marriage proposal. Again, I can not confirm nor deny that....

You know that one friend that's always there for you, no matter what? Yea, that would be me. Any of my friends, or sometimes even people I barely know, are having a problem, and I always give them an ear. It doesn't matter what it is, I'm always willing to listen. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than willing to help my friends, but sometimes what they tell me hurts me and I can't tell them. Take for...

This will be short, sweet, and to the point, as I am not on my own computer thus don't have a lot of time. Just something I need to get off my chest. These, well these feelings I guess, they're more than thoughts now. These feelings, about you, I can't have them. I shouldn't have them. Yet, I can't stop thinking about you. It's beyond what it has been for the other girls. This literally keeps me...

You know, I thought that when you went out of your way to talk to me, out of your way to show me affection, out of your way to kiss me, that maybe you liked me. I thought you were finally over him, and ready to be with somebody that would give you everything he didn't. Somebody that would go out of his way to show you love and make you smile. But, I guess if it's too good to be true, it really is....

Some stuff I wanted to get off my chest. so here goes... lately I've been depressed, like bad. For about a week straight I would lay down to go to sleep, and wind up breaking down and cry. Then, getting up, grabbing the closest metal object, because I have no blade close, and cutting my wrist/lower forearm. It isn't the same, but I still got the same end result. My arm would bleed, I'd let my pain...

I just completely screwed up one of my best relationships. I tried to make a simple joke, and it got turned against me.The last person in th world I would ever want mad at me is. Yes, she was already in a bad mood about other things, but I apparently made it all worse. I cried over it, which is something I rarely do over things like this. But I did. I don't know what I'm going to say in this...

I believe that there is somebody out there for everybody that will truly love them, but whether or not that person is a "soul mate" or just somebody we fall in love with by chance depends on the person. For instance, there is somebody that could be considered my "soul mate" because we have so much in common, can talk about just about anything, and have been through a lot of the same things in life...

You know, I didn't use technology for about 5 days, aside from my PlayStation but no phone computer etc, and I did a lot of thinking in that time, also some reading but that has nothing to do with this. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. This will hopefully be the last time I talk about this, at least for a while. I'm more confident than ever now that I am no longer in love/crushing/what have...

This entry isn't going to be my usual self loathing, lovesick, drama style. In honor of the holiday, I will do one about the paranormal, mainly ghosts. Hauntings, afterlife, souls, and such, are these stories true? Is there really such thing as a soul? When you pass, what really happens? Are the television shows real, or Hollywood make believe? You see, I am a follower of the paranormal (UFOs,...

I've come to terms with the fact that you don't like me anymore and want nothing to do with me.You're still not over him, although he's shown multiple times he's been over you for a while, and takes you back so you'll shut up. I mean, I can't count number of times you've told me that I'm nicer, sweeter, and more caring than he ever was, but whatever. I guess we'll be friends, well actually not...

First, sorry for the sudden addition of many journals in the last few days. Just going through a lot and need to express it.So, everything seems to send me into a dark semi depressive state as of late. No matter what, it does. The girl I loved either has a boyfriend or just wants nothing to do with me, even as a friend. I don't really care, I can move on and get over her I think. Sure, I liked her...

So, it turns out that one of the girls, the on I wanted to be with most secretly, has a boyfriend. I'm not sure, but that's what it seems like. Yeah yeah, I know. I have no reason to be upset, but I am. I really like/liked her. Oh well, she's happy I think. I think she likes him a lot. That's all the matters to me. It doesn't have to be by me, as long as she is.I still don't know for sure, and I...

I like two girls, and might have a slight crush on another. At least, I think I do. I haven't been able to get one off my mind for a while, I just started talking to the other again, and as for the crush. Well, I don't really know her, but we have similar tastes and I thought she was cute the other day. I've talked about the first girl previously, so I won't spend much time on her, if any. I'm...

Tonight was one of the best nights of my week. My month. Hell, maybe my year. Got to finally see them in concert. The band that always is there for fans. Always cheers me up no matter how I feel. Blood On The Dance Floor. Yes, I know there's controversy about them, but I ignore that. I just love their music, truly listening to the lyrics and taking my own interpretation. A couple of their songs...

Why haven't I been able to get you off my mind? What is the reason? Last time I blamed it on sleeping pills, this time there's no pills and I still can't seem to get you off my mind. There's a reason it never worked out. Yea, you know how I felt, but still. I shouldn't have these feelings or thoughts. I shouldn't be up all night thinking about you. I shouldn't think "what if we tried again?". I...

What is it that matters to me? Do I care if you treat me like your everything? Not really. All I want from you is respect and love. That's all I ask. To be perfectly honest, all that does matter to me is making you happy. I'll do whatever it takes, nothing could make me happier. I'll treat you with the utmost respect, like a princess. I'll never do anything to make you mad, sad, upset or anything...

That was a rather abrupt end to that. It's not going to be the same anymore, as much as we're going to try. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt, and I didn't cry. I'll move on, but you're still going to be special to me and be more than a friend. Whatever, maybe it was for the better? We obviously wanted two different things out of this. I just wish you told me sooner before I got too attached....

So, everything seems to be okay. She loves me more than ever now, and he's got a new girlfriend. Everything seems right in the world for once. I didn't think anything was going to happen, I just always tend to think the worst will come out of every situation. I'm happy, and better yet, she's happy. Like I said, I was positive nothing would happen. I mean, she told me she almost left me for him,...

Haven't been able to talk to her for a couple days. Finally do and she does say she missed me, but still I see she's talking to him, again. The same guy she almost left me for. The same guy she dated before that hurt her. I comforted her after he hurt her. I know it's probably stupid, but every time he talks to a girl he has one idea on his mind. She said she'd never leave me for him, because I'm...