I need to go away, go away for awhile. I feel like everything is closing in on me.Everything I do something has to happen either go wrong or stay the same.I'm in pain, a lot of it. Pain is in my name. I can't move on.Needing my dad more then anyone and he's not here. he's in heaven, living a better life now. I'm jealous of that. I envy that, I envy he got to leave. He was tortured himself though.I...

I didn’t take my medicine. If I do I won’t have enough. I can’t get my refill until Tuesday. This is my first time not being on it in a while.I tried to sleep but I can’t. I’m manic, I’m paranoid, I’m anxious. I see stupid things in my head, I hear things to loudly in silence. I had a nightmare. I can hear myself think. My head is pounding hard and there’s a pounding in my chest....

I had a mental breakdown again today.My meds wore off. I had a very uncomfortable day as it was. I got some bad news and this breakdown was different. I couldn’t feel my body, I was numb. And I planned out my suicide.I have never fully planned it. I have the entire thing mapped out completely. I was scared to be alone with myself. I had this happen at my best friend Mike’s house. He brought me...

I probably would have ended up literally slitting my wrists, I’m sorry but, that scene is not for me. Preppy college kids with 3 faces. At least she was honest and just doesn’t want me coming.God allowed me to dodge that bullet. It would have been nice leaving the house for awhile and having some time with my friend. However, i’m really glad I did not go.I would have been alone all night...

I feel so different. this medicine is taking away my suicidal thinking, my irritability so far, I'm not as anxious.I Feel so fucking empty now, I realize how alone I truly am without all this bullshit. It’s amazing how all this shit works. Honestly, when the thing that’s killing you is inside and the thing that will or can destroy your life, you want so desperately for it to go away and stop....

I was diagnosed. It's my second day on meds.I feel like shit. I am pretty sure you all know what Bipolar Disorder is.Borderline Personality Disorder:A person with borderline personality disorder often has unstable relationships, low self-esteem, and problems with impulsive behavior, all of which begin by early adulthood.People who are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder have at least...