I’d say my heart is broken,But how can something already broken break again?You were my best friend, Ali...You were My sister.I opened my heart to you, Only you.You knew things no one else would know,Secret’s I’ll take to my grave.You told me secret’s no one knows about you.To me, you were my first ‘relationship’I trust you, we trust each other.You saw the worst sides of me,Saw how...

Alright so...We got home around midnight last night, and first thing I did was get my dogs and lock myself in my room for the rest of night/morning.I was just so glad to get away from so called 'family , I'm not gonna even talk about how the rest of the trip went, including the drive back home, it just held alot of anxiety, trying to resist self-harming and purging.You get my point...And I know...

I was writing this entry on an off while the road journey to Georgia today. it was suppose to b a four hour drive, but it took longer because of breaks and rest-stops, and of course when someone got hungry, I had to com up with some reason to get out of eating or just pretend I was asleep.Anyway, We ended up getting to the hotel (everyone is staying at the same hotel, and my dad, his two sisters,...

Alright...So last night (after funeral) went really bad. For two reasons:One- Ulcers/acid reflex. It's been bugging my constantly lately...But last night was a really bad attack. I took two Nexium (the medicine for that) and it didn't do anything, so I took to tums, and nothing.I know...That the attack was probably a result from purging so much last night after eating at the funeral, But like I...

So....Tonight was the Funeral, It went...Well although I felt awkward the whole time, And my social anxiety was getting to me...I was staying calm on the outside, But on the inside it was worse then death-con five.I was able to get out of wearing a dress though (much to my moms disappointment) So I wore my black skinnie jeans and a formal-looking top (I didn't want to be disrespectful..) But I...

I've probably typed this, erased everything and then re-typed it about a thousand times for years now...But...I know this is one trauma that I've kept to myself for years...I've grown up with this (other then diabetes, sleep apnea , and the medical shit...) I can't even start to explain the feelings and thoughts consuming my head...Also to be honest, This 'trauma' only stopped about two years ago,...

So...I actually tried going to school today...It didn't go well. And I had to be brought home early :\I had a major panic attack because I was late to one of my classes, So by the time I got there, and looked in through the door's window, I freaked out since already all the students were inside and what not, I couldn't even bring myself to try and walk into the class room.Like the coward I am, I...

Hey again...I was gonna wait to post this til tomorrow..But I thought I'd just write it out to get it over with, Hope you guys don't mind?One thing that has always only made me feel worse...Is getting compliments from other people...Does this happen to anyone else? I have horrible body dis-morphia and no self-esteem whats-so-ever...So when ever someone says something (which is rare anyway...) I...

Alright..So I know I was just going to post one blog a day...But this is just really nagging at me. this is something that happened last night. It has to do with self-harming...Well...With an example, Last night I couldn't sleep (Which isn't unusual for me Since I have sleep apnea ad sleep paralysis ), Well this always leaves my mind racing for many different reasons,It even brought me into two...

Okay...So i'm gonna try to vent or talk about a certain issue each day. There's just so much going on, I feel like i'm drowning...Today i'll talk about one of them that effects me though, my Anorexia/Bulimia.I have a few different disorders such as Social Anxiety, Depression, Self-harming, Etc. But these two are also effecting my life greatly, And has been for years now. I've tried to stop but I...

Having no other way of expressing how I feel without being judged and treated as a freak, I just wanted to write this journal entry...This feeling has been going on for years, Along with self-harming and eating disorders. I've tried to stop before, But I failed and they've only come back with vengeance. I can't tell anyone, Especially not my family. They don't understand and frankly I can't trust...

Hi :3Um, I'm using this first journal entry to maybe find someone/or people who want to write a BVB story w/me? I like darker-themed stories though, and fiction. I'm free to ideas though so just message me, And it doesn't just have to be BVB again i'm open to ideas so...If you want to just send a message?Um, I guess that's it for now. I'll add other journal entries for other things when I can...