I hear and read a lot about people wanting to kill themselves. I've felt that way too. I tried to drown myself back in 2009. And to be honest, I’m glad I didn't go through with it. Because if I did, a good thing will be that all the bad times in my life will be gone. But a bad thing is that so will the good times. The flashbacks and bad memories, my struggles, the self-hatred, the sad tears. All...

Wanna know what's inside my head. CHAOS. That's why I call myself "Courtney Chaotic". The depression. The anxiety. The flashbacks. The mood swings. The voices. The visions. It's all in my head. That's what makes me fucked up. That, and all my negativity toward myself. I am FUCKED UP. Would you like it if I did everyone a favor and just died? But I can't. Yes, I do have people to live for. I have...

I feel so physically and emotionally dirty. I feel so cluttered. I feel like I live in a junk yard. I feel useless and disgusting.…There’s a war going on inside my head, and someone just fired a bullet. I'm going insane. I want help, but I don't know how to tell people how, and what they can do. Why did those boys have to do this to me? I don't want to be a victim anymore. Today (03/13/12) is...

No man should ever beat a woman. I wish that was true about my experience. No man should ever force a woman to do something she doesn't want, or force themselves on her. I've had bad luck with that, too. Boys can be evil. Those boys hurt me. But I will push through.They will not ruin my present or future. They are my PAST, and the past is OVER.No, I was not dressed provocatively. I was wearing...