Lamentation / Comments

Oh em gee! Walmart is the absolute best! How's the job now? Are you totally abusing your discount? I would! Ha aha.
I'm sooo sorry I haven't messaged in so long. My tablet kept screwing things up and ugh. I feel kinda stupid about it actually lol!
So my year is almost finished. I'm ridic excited but I'm kinda sad because things are really going to change and I'm not sure I can handle it. Siiigh. But I think I'm in a good place right now in my life.

Ohhh emmm geeeee!!! I'm legit jumping up and down dancing for you! I prayed that you'd get a job! Tell me everything! What job is it?

Girl don't fret. I'm good though, dear. My life is suuuper hectic too. I have so many things to do that just thinking about it depresses me. I hope I'll slow down soon because I miss sleep hahah.

Oh, that's cool too! I normally write when I'm upset. Your way is soo much cooler! Haha! You just can't see how good it is because they're yours :-P
I get ya dear. I would love to do something like that. Since I really have no idea what I want to do. Bio? Nice! Do you want to be a scientist?
That sounds kinda nice. What were you expecting then? So do you tell him when you have a problem with what he does? OMG! What if that's what Matt thinks about me? :O Like I keep disappointing him because I don't like being in those stereotypical, traditional relationships. Not that I find a problem with those who are but that's just not me. I guess I'm always trying to be unique or something. Well, it's always simpler to improve your relationship with Jesus because praying for passion and a closer relationship is always possible.
That's amazing, I believe all those things too, but I also believe in the Rapture because of passages such as Matthew 24: 29 to the end and 1 Thessalonians 4:15 to the end. So yeah, there are stuff about the rapture, that's why I believe in it. Also, it's a really comforting thought.

Woow that should take soo much dedication. That's super awesome. You're so talented. Congrats. Do you sell them?
What religion are you? I thought you were a Christian.
Yeh' the end really is near. I wish I could do something, you know?
That's really great. What does a general degree really entail? I don't think we do that. That is sooo cute! What did you guys do for Valentines day?
It's so perfect because I didn't get this message till today anyway,so you're not early lol. Same to you love!

We actually didn't hang out today haha. I went out with my friends from school, we went to the beach and out for jerk. Loool. I think it was kinda weird for him but I'm not a big fan of traditional, stereotypical situations. So I didn't want to go out to a restaurant or something. Does that make me terrible?

That's soooo awesome. My sister actually knitted me a bag once. It's beautiful, I love it. What kind of clothes? Do you have a sewing machine?
That's great about the reading! I don't know what I would do if I ever had to stop reading. It would be terrible, I love it so much. Which is probably how I could have a kindle, plus a kindle app on my phone and tablet but a library filled with books. Hahaha! Wow, now it looks really sad.
Have you ever read the left behind series? I'm on that now and....wow. It's amazing, phenomenal!
How is Austin? What's he doing for school or work or what? That IS a real blessing. Especially in this time in the world. Yeah, you guys may be a bit young, nut once you know, you know. My dad was my mom's first boyfriend, they started out as friends and were married by the time she was 22. They're still in love. So I really don't think age is an issue.

That's okay hon! I understand. Technology really sucks sometimes.
What have you been up to?

I just realized how long mine was. Oh em geezers! I'm soon sorry! Thank you dear! But I really don't know if I can be one because I'd probably cry in all the meetings because I feel so bad for them lol!
Oh Florida! That's basically the same temp as JA. Shucks. Well, when I lived in Washington I was too young to remember, but I'm sure it probably snowed. And now I live in Jamaica again so no. No snow hahah.
Power couple! Haha! Nice one. Yeah, she can be a jerk sometimes, but I guess used to it and she normally only says what all casting people and photographers will think so if she says slim down, slim down. Smh. Please! There are all kind of model types, you'd probably do cute, commercial really well
O.m.g!!!! O. M. G!! I'm like freaking out in my bed I'm so happy for you! Like, wow! That's suuuper precious. You guys are so wonderful!
Well, I feel so boring :( I have heaps and heaps of work to do. I haven't come up for air in DAYS. Lol! My life needs to calm down before I can have any details ;) I haven't seen him in days and I missed three of his calls so he probably thinks I'm mad at him, hahahah! I'm just toooo busy. Next time I write, I'll tell you so much more, I promise. Lol!

Hahahaha!! Actually no, not really. I was on the way to school like last year one day. And on the TV was this interview. I wasn't listening but I did hear when she said that child psychologists in Jamaica are few. And I was like wow that sucks because we really need them. So the other day I started thinking about it more, because my friend is suicidal and I really wanted to help her. So I will be able to help people like her. Not what you were expecting, huh? lol.
Yeah I still wanna model but I have to be realistic because that's not something permanent and it's demanding on my body. After Christmas I went to a meeting and my agent FREAKED out because I put on like 5lbs. Hahahah!!
Matt says he doesn't care either way but he used to alwaysss talk about him being a famous photographer and me being his model so I think he'd prefer that.
Awww! Yay I'm so happy for you. He's perfect when it comes to you sounds extremely right!! I'm so glad you guys are good now. If only we didn't live thousands of miles apart, then we could double date! lol! :D
I'm glad your Christmas was so great. It sounds wonderful! Did you have snow? And yes I didn't notice you sound happier. What happened?! Don't start holding out on me. Teehee.
School is stressful and at the same time I have a lot of free sessions lately. Which only makes it more annoying that Matt and I go to different schools because I'll want to talk to him and can't :-( But everything is kind of boring now, just trying to stay ahead where school is concerned, while making time for everything else.

Thank you dear! Ditto to you :D I really did enjoy myself. Had a couple parties and dinners I went to. Went to church. Went on the mall a lot. Now I'm broke for the rest of this month haha. How about you?
I'm really glad that you're at that place of acceptance, but I don't want you to settle. It doesn't really sound like you are, but just in case, you deserve the bestest guy out there. So don't settle!!
I'm glad you guys made up :-) but remember you still need to talk of something is bothering you.
So I started thinking today that I may want to be a child psychologist :/

I missed my pen-pal too!!! I told you about Matt though! Have I been gone that long that you forgot? Hahaha! I really like your suggestion! You're so right! You get me :)

You poor thing :( that must really annoy you. He's probably just afraid of doing or saying something he'll regret. You're special to him and he doesn't want to ruin it, would be my guess. I get why that would suck but try to start off with some nice topic then gently lead into a sucky topic? I don't know, but maybe there's a deeper reason behind it. Sorry to be all therapist-like.
Keep praying and have faith! I know there's something out there for you. Don't give up love! If you could do anything in the world? What would you want to do?

Thanks! Merry almost Christmas to you too!

Hey dear! How are you? Haven't spoken in sooo long! Didn't even know it was my fault :( Why is it always me....darn it. I know you would help me though, because you're awesome like that ;)
So Christmas is coming up woot woot! Have any special plans? I have no idea what to get Matt *hides face in shame*
So tell me about this dramatic life already! :D

Thank for understanding me. It's like everyone just wants me to be happy and all stupidly in love, you know? Hahah! Yeah...I say the feelings are quick; he just says it's about time we got together. Lol! You should be around though! Not for the giggling part, we have enough of those friends. smh.
I've been great really. I can't complain because God is really blessing me. school is annoying, but I didn't really expect it to be any different. When Sandy hit Jamaica, we were really protected so the worst thing that happened to us was that we lost light for a day
What's been taking up your time? Let's talk about you!

Lolol! Hey lovely! Yeah Matthew would probably never admit how he was feeling about me. I think you're so right about the trip though. Like, it's way different between us now that you and everyone else basically forced me to examine my feelings. Haha. I really needed that, though, thanks. But now it's like I'm noticing all these things and I'm getting butterflies and it's just so weird, but great. He says he always felt this way though so now I feel bad for being so daft :/
I know him so well already though so that's not the problem in figuring out if I'm in love. I guess I'm just too careful and realistic. I mean, I loooove romance but it's not the same in my own life. You know?
I don't worry, though, that I'm only getting in the relationship for the sake of it. I love my independence and relationships are too complicated. So he's the only reason I'd give that up. The great thing is, he's soooo patient. He's the most understanding person I know. So when I get all annoying or closed off and bipolar about the relationship, I know he'll accept me.
Honestly, I think I'm just afraid of falling in love :S because he's already so amazing and we're so young.

Grrr!! I swear this time I didn't get an email. Sigh -.-
Yeah I'm really grateful for them because I know that how close we are is very uncommon so I don't take it for granted.
Well, his birthday was yesterday and he came over here and surprised me with a road trip to St. Ann (that's like two hours away from where I live) and we went to the beach and out to lunch and....

Yeah they can be really amazing when they want to. We're so close so we really try to make birthdays special. I don't know what to think of him. His birthday is next month so we were talking about it today and apparently he wants to go out with just me. But! When we were done talking about that, he started asking me all these questions about my friend like he wanted to ask her out :S
Now I don't know what to do.

. Thank you dear. It was so good!! My sisters surprised and had cupcakes delivered to my school and my classes sang happy birthday to me. And a really close guy friend of mine- the same one that takes pictures of me- got me a tennis bracelet :O I was soooo shocked. It had my birthstone too. I'm not sure if this means he likes me, because it was probably really expensive.
And don't worry I'll always be here to nag you hahaha!

I am sooo sorry!!! *hides face in shame* I swore I replied to you and all this time I've been waiting for you to reply. Sigh, silly me.
Thanks for the vote of confidence :D
This year has been a huge adjustment, it's a lot like college system, except we can't leave when we don't have classes. Sigh. But! I'm surviving so far. So yesterday was my birthday :D officially an adult!
So how's the job search going?

Haha. Well, the dream was about some killer. Sigh. I had to watch a lot of comedies to get back to sleep. Good thing I wasn't truly tired at church. Thank you! Loool! That's what people keep telling me and I'm really trying to be grateful because I know they're still good. By American standards, I would be going off to college now, but in Jamaica we go to high school from 7th grade to grade 13. So there's no middle school but 7 years of high school instead of four. That means when I apply to colleges abroad, I'm gonna be a year younger than everyone.
Oh hun, that sucks! What about student loans? Couldn't you go to college on one of those!
I was really blessed on Sunday, thank you. I hope you were as well on the Sabbath.

Hey doll! No worries :) Hope you were living up those days! Well, by the time it got this, it was Sunday morning, 4:36 actually. I had a nightmare so now I'm awake. Sigh. It's gonna be sooo hard going to church. Happy Sunday and belated Sabbath. Haha. Well, the only memorable thing is that I got my results for my final exam. It's the Caribbean so things are s bit different. I did nine subjects, which isn't really common, and I got 8 ones and a 2. So that's like eight As and a B. That B really messed things up. Lol!