My friend Anni was on Radio 4 this morning in defense of My Chemical Romance... She's doing a grand job in helping organise today's march and hopefully many, many people will turn up and/or sign the petition.This cause is just and hopefully this will show the "old folks" that everyone's committed and cares about themselves and their lives enough to show how much.My heart is with the marchers today...

My friend is organising a protest against the "Tory rags" (to quote Kerrang) who are trying to pin the tragic suicide of Hannah Bond on bands like My Chem...http://www.whatthefrank.co.uk/details.htmlPlease support my friend and her efforts by making it to the protest if you can. The more people turn up, the merrier....... Amplify the voice of MCR fans by adding your own.If you can't make it,...

I wrote down a list of qualities that I admire or am attracted to in the opposite sex and the first letters of my list spelled out the word MATE completely by accident so I made up a "soul mate" list of qualities (a chunk of which just happens to describe my husband!)SeriousOutsiderUnder-ratedLeft wingerMusicianArtistTroubledEx addictI've come to the conclusion that I love or get crushes on people...

I think anger is healthy.That might seem like a strange thing to say, but I believe it to be true. It's the manner in which someone handles it which can be unhealthy rather than the anger itself. Being expressive is the most important capacity we have as human beings and to vent that anger in a constructive and helpful way is vital to our well-being. It provides food for thought for others and...

I think the time has come for a medication review because it's clear that what I'm on now isn't cutting the cake. I'm on a tiny amount of Mirtazapine (barely there) because I hate the carb cravings it gives me. On a higher dose, I eat like a horse and stack on tonnes of weight in the process. I need something different, so I'm up for assessment and the shrink can work out what I do need (if...

I've never really sat down and gone through the things I *can* do before now, which is a very bizarre thought indeed. I've always tended to look at what I've not done or what I can't do, but today's going to be different. Today, I'm looking at what I've achieved.1, I passed all my exams - I got the grades I needed to get to Uni and even scored an A in GCSE French (ooh)2, I completed enough to earn...

Sometimes life is a real struggle for no apparent reason and now is one of those moments. I have a bizarre feeling of self-hatred that I can't pinpoint down to anything in particular. I just feel "in the wrong" and like a person without merit and I really despise feeling this way for no good reason... Now, If I'd gone out and done something evil, I'd understand... but no. Nothing overt and...

I'm often heard to say how MCR has saved my life, which is the truth. They've given me hope during my darkest hours and given me mantras to chant in my head when I feel I'm losing heart. Something I've not said often enough is that Green Day have given me hope too because they provided a vent for me to let out all the anger I've felt inside for the last six months or so.My husband was under threat...

I'm really cross because I'm in an internet cafe and just lost my entry! Grrrrr!!!!!!!! *swear curse*Anyway the essence of it was that my friend, the psychic, thinks I've not progressed at all over the years he's known me and that I'm living in the dark. That I'm going to end up "one of those dark Scorpios"... Well, he's wrong. I know he's saying those things to shock me into action (which I...

Just as fog lifts off the sea, I feel better today. The fug that seeped into my brain cells like despair from a Dementor attack has abated. I feel alright... Still have no idea how I'm going to fund my studies when little'un starts school, or what exactly I'm going to do, but hey ho... I'm alive and feeling okay.It happened this afternoon as I was tidying R's playroom. I could feel myself getting...

"One more day like today and I'll kill you"Now I realise how much time I've wasted through depression, self-hatred and loneliness. Now I realise how the hours I've spent feeling low have been poured into drink, drugs and self-deception and how it's robbed me of my self-hood. Only now do I realise the significance of all the waste because now I know the things I want to do, I have no energy or time...

Hubby's played an album by The Sundays tonight which is so beautiful with sparkly guitars and Harriet Wheelers lovely "ethereal" vocal. It takes me back to when I was a student and felt severely depressed to the point where the only music I could listen to was basically cheerful or beautiful like this. I was so cut off from life and the Universe that I might as well have been dead and I felt...

I really admire Straight Edge people because it takes guts and conviction to stop drugs and booze completely. I can't count myself as being so because I drink (only small amounts) and take an antidepressant (again a tiny amount, but it still counts). I also have a bit of a caffeine addiction and eat meat.......... On the plus side, I don't smoke now. It was something I did socially and enjoyed,...

I walked back from my mother's house with my daughter in her pushchair this evening and the world seemed "right" for me. The spring air was crisp, with the setting sun glowing orange mixed with the darkening blue of the sky through the trees. There was a slight mist in the air and the bite of the evening cool was refreshing on my skin. I listened to The Cure which I had plugged in to my ear on one...

I've not been to many gigs, but seeing My Chem at the O2 in London was one of those unforgettable experiences due to the pain factor involved. Thinking about it brings about an involuntary shudder, but I'm smiling all at the same time. One friend described it as "brutal" and she wasn't wrong because at one point, I thought I was going to die. I was drowning in people and couldn't keep my feet,...

I realise now that I was always okay and that all the hang-ups I collected along the way before the age of 18 were unjustified. If I could go back in a time machine I'd tell my younger self exactly that and so I'm telling anyone who happens to stumble across this journal the same thing. You're good enough, so go for your dreams.Ideally I'd have started playing instruments years ago as my mother...

I come up with the most lame titles for my journal entries don't I? Anyhoo...I went over to the music shop today to get a strap for "Mikey" and was yakking to the guy who owns it and he reckons with practice that I'm good enough to play in a band in time or even play professionally if I practice enough (that's the big "if" though). I was so happy because it's my dream to be in a band and I lit up...

I went to see the psych nurse because I'm obviously off on one and need assessment. I'm motoring between feeling really shit to hyper and then to hyper-shit at the moment, so I want them to tell me if I'm bipolar or have a personality disorder or both. Either way, I'm out there and the only thing that I keep sane with is the aforementioned bass playing.I need some company too in a big way because...

I had a really terrible day yesterday over which I felt like giving up and croaking. Really, I was totally depressed. I'm certainly not a fun bunny under those circumstances that's for sure, but today... today I was hyper. Today I was out there on the planet of manic wow. I was wide-eyed and spectacular and (in all honesty) it was too much. Too saccharine and too fake and I think I need...

I did an online test to see which hemisphere of my brain dominates and got this..."You are one of those rare individuals who are perfectly "balanced" in both your hemispheric tendencies and your sensory learning preferences. However, there is both good news and bad news.A problem with hemispheric balance is that you will tend to feel more conflict than someone who has a clearly established...