rambling self admitance

when i was in middle school, i was an inexperienced woman. i never had the luxury of being a kid, not that i couldn't, but because i didn't want it. i put a lot of pressure on myself to mature, not be a girl, to be able to be 'one of the boys'. i saw kids my age playing games, running around, doing homework. but i always thought myself higher than them, rationalizing every little thing. i had a...
January 14th, 2014 at 04:03am

i`m screwed...

I’m realizing in lieu of falling in love with you, instead of finding someone to get over you with, to fall for someone else, my body simply can`t fathom such a thing. So I’ve fallen in love with the idea of myself. not in a selfish way, in the way that I’ve realized no one will ever be good enough for me because after being treated so terribly, I’ve begun to treat people so well I don`t...
April 4th, 2013 at 03:56am

the divine uselessness of life

I`d like to be able to say that we all have some sort of divine purpose here, that the way the moonlight shines through the night is some sort of poetic way of saying: “I’m here for a reason, and you are too.” But I think in all reality that we, just like the moon, serve no real purpose. I bet you are thinking, “but wouldn`t my friends miss me?” well, look back to the moon again. What if...
March 26th, 2013 at 02:22am

what time will do for hopeless dreamers

it`s that time of year again. You know the one. The time where I wear your perfume and cringe at the smell of cigarettes. The time I listen to ballads and write some of my own, ones I’ll keep to myself, because no one would understand, save for me. I’ll take refuge in sneaking sangria and stolen moments of reminiscing to that summer, before I talk myself out of it. Because I can`t get bad...
March 26th, 2013 at 02:21am

she`s the girl.. she was my world.

It was the first day of middle school. I was eleven. I sat down in my desk at second period. The whole class changing thing was still strange to me. I sat in my chair and looked at the short lanky girl sat two desks to the left. She was looking around the room taking it all in and I was thinking how pretty I thought she was. I loved her style. I decided I wanted to know her. She turned and I...
December 19th, 2012 at 10:08am

thinking about the past again.

While you post about your perfect boyfriend I’ll sigh and think back to the summer we shared. When you suddenly decide to say something to me about it, I’ll pretend I don`t spend every living moment of my life going over what i could have done differently. while you go out and have fun with your straight edge friends I’ll be thinking about the downwards spiral you sent me in when you passed...
December 19th, 2012 at 09:15am