i don't know what to say anymore. i'm sad, but not to the point where i feel the need to... do anything about it. i'm sad, and that's okay.there's some type of comfort in hurting. having that physical ache in your chest reminds you that hey, i'm here, and i can feel.i don't want to be happy.i don't know what happy feels like. i've experienced happiness at a young age but now it's faint, like a...

so, because of my lack of participation during therapy (my 3rd therapist this year. fuck.) my mom decided to ask my doctor if there was an alternate way to "cope with my depression." [what what what what] and now i'm on meds [what what what what] and people expect me to just be happy (when really, i just want to sleep half of the time. they make me tired and incoherent.) i don't know. i want to...