love metal / Comments

As first mate on the Biergarty ship, I command you to write this zombie one-shot and join the ship! ;)))

Thank you for commenting on my story. I'm glad you like it! :)

Yeah, write what? When I lose it, I don't want to write, all I want to do is cause pain unto the one who's angered me or hurt me. I cope with things violently. Writing is a peaceful art, no matter what anyone says. It can filter all those bad things and bring them into a more stable reality, but it's not physically connecting my fist with the object of my disdain. After all is said (or not said), done and over with, I don't even want to think about it again, much less write about it. I bury things and I'd rather leave them in the ground where I left them. I hate tearing open old wounds, it makes me dwell, and then I relapse.

Writing isn't emotional for me. I've made it a strict rule, cordoning off deep feeling. I like writing, it's an imaginative outlet for me to make use of my creativity, but emotions aren't good for me. Emotions I feel, I mean. If I don't, or remain detached, it's fine. Mostly, it's the emotions that I never feel, or have yet to be really hurt by that I write about. I never really write too deeply about happiness or joy because I've always associated those emotions with disappointment and pain. Something bad always happens when I'm psyched about something. Every. Fucking. Time.

Writing is...difficult for me. I take so long to finish my chapters because I can only write when I'm focused, when I know I'm safe from most interruptions. I can't let anyone see what I'm doing because I'll get yelled at, or they'll want to see it and with slash, obviously, letting my mother see it isn't an option. I've just gotten to the point of unhooking the phone to avoid all the bullshit debt collectors calling for some Mexican asshole who's probably been arrested by now. If they'd give me a real fucking person instead of a goddamn machine, you have no idea how big an earful I'd give them, topped with a nice "go fuck yourself."

I can't even begin to figure out how I'd write about that. I'm a very direct person, there's no spiritual or aural "thing" about it. I can't be about to beat someone to death and just write about hanging out with friends. It doesn't work that way with me. I've just about cussed out my English teacher on several occasions because there was some deadline to meet with some bullshit essay about something no one gives a shit about and I just couldn't. I couldn't just force myself to write something good and this failure to meet the school's expectations caused more frustration. Most of the time, I end up giving her choppy, basic sentences while trying to avoid things like "...and then they did this stupid fucking thing..." and "...no, I don't think they deserved to be free because they were fucking idiots." or "...yes, I believe the dumb asshole got what he deserved."

I can't even excel in my creative writing class because I don't want to write about some dead author, or write about some current event I don't give a shit about for some news article. I can write, but only when I feel like it. Negative energy...doesn't bode well with me. Unless it's writing about murdering someone, but that never has anything to do with my stories. Except for one, which I'm currently working on. Violence is the only way I can really handle things, getting all that pent up anxiety out and just beating the shit out of something. Writing makes me rip those emotions back open and it makes depressed.

What I meant by having trouble making it flow smoothly is that I can't sit there and worry about what I'm writing while I'm writing it (sex) because I'll lose my mood, and then I'll be a failure again. (Do you know how many unfinished sex scenes I have lying around?) I have to do it while I've got it and deal with fixing it later. It usually ends up getting cut short because my buzz starts fading and I know I just won't be able to come through. I go back through afterward and fix everything, patch up all the rough spots and add better vocabulary. I make it flow AFTER I write it.

I'm good at blocking shit out, I'm a professional shirker and love cloud-watching. It's just, when I really need to focus and fall into my "mode", if anything disturbs my zen, then it all goes to hell. If there's all this shit going on around me, I can't get jack done. Maybe a few sentences, but there's no way I can teleport to my planet and really give it my all. I can't stand having deadlines or due dates hanging over my head because...I don't know, I just can't fucking take it. I can't do anything if I'm being chided with "...due at the end of the month."

I hate the feeling of weakness that comes with emotion.

I guess, really, you can't help me. We're too different with the way we process things. It's whatever, not the first, not the last. I've been in a bad mood all day, it was nice ranting to you for a bit. Sorry for wasting your time.

Honestly? The way I do it is taking all of that negative energy and channeling it into writing. Mad at mom? Write. Bad day at school? Write. Anything short of murder? Write. I write when I cry. I write when I'm happy. I write when I need to expel anything. At all. Reading romance is just to get a feel for the rhythm. Sex in stories needs rhythm. No one likes it when it doesn't. And not rushing is an art form. I have to sit and watch my spacing. You need peace, but I thrive in chaos, and since most life is chaos, I have a far better go at it. I'm usually not in the mood when I write sex scenes. I just close my eyes, see it, and do it. And I've been doing it since I was nine and had accidental exposure to slash for the first time.

@ TeamTonyVincent
I've tried the romance books, but I'm dying of boredom before I get through the first chapter. (Actual thought: "Oh my god, shut up, I don't care about your low self-esteem or your fucking school girl crush on your butler!) Trying to flip through and find the sex sounds like agony. Romance is just boring (at least the way its portrayed in those books). And fucking hell, if the sex is like in 50 Shades Of Gray...*shudder* "Porn for women", my ass...it just sounds...boring and...ugh, bad.

I don't know what "good" porn is, really. I mean, it's all sex anyway, right? Visualizing isn't my problem, though. If I'm not into it, or if I'm not in the mood, I just can't do it. My way of doing things is very selfish; if I don't want to, I can't even force it. It will just turn out god awful. I've tried before.

I don't think my smut is bad, I think I'm pretty good, but I cringe at certain words and I have trouble keeping it from going too fast because my fingers can't keep up with my brain, not to mention the fact that I just don't have time to make it flow smoothly while I'm writing - when my mood runs out, that's the end of it. I've rerouted my original plans for a story before because of this issue, and I've lopped a lot of chapters down to a mere fraction of what I wanted to do. If I get interrupted by anything, I lose my mood and it's hard to get it back. It's either, the phone's ringing, the cats are doing something stupid, the dog is barking, SOMEONE'S walking in and out of the house like it's a fucking parade, or I have to go outside and take care of our horses. Then, I'm pissed off and don't want to deal with it anymore. As of right now, my mother won't shut up and I'm losing my temper, about to stab the next fucking animal to make ONE MORE GODDAMN SOUND.

I can't even write when I'm like this because I just want to hit something. Really hard.

Ugh, I just want to be able to write in peace, but the only person who could comprehend it doesn't want me to write. I need a way to keep my inspiration for something running long enough to fulfill the extend my imagination has paved out. I figured I was normal, but I'm coming to understand no one seems to have even a remotely similar process. But you're such a fantastic writer, I thought, maybe, you had some sort of secret or process to be able write like that...

If you want to learn how to write good smut, you need to read romantic sex books. Yeah, the ones your mom or aunt reads. And watch porn. And not shitty lorn. The good stuff.

Your welcome. Hit me up whenever you have time. :D

Your welcome. Hit me up whenever you have time. :D

@ XXXataktoulaXXX
Thanks :)

I gotta get going anyway. Thanks for talking with me, though!

I am under the same username here, wattpad, quizilla, fanfiction, photobucket and daviantart but I post my stuff only here and wattpad. It's your birthday, so go have fun. I hope you get the presents you want. :D

I am under the same username here, wattpad, quizilla, fanfiction, photobucket and daviantart but I post my stuff only here and wattpad. It's your birthday, so go have fun. I hope you get the presents you want. :D

@ XXXataktoulaXXX
Well, my friend is very active on here and prefers this site over the one we originally met on. We've both decided we're going to leave that site and she doesn't have a Wattpad account so I got one on here. I had an old account that I never used, but Mibba has changed so much since then. I'm not sure if I like it or not, I wasn't too fond of it before.

I'm writing for one of my stories right now, though. I have a special that I promised I'd have up today and I didn't finish yesterday. But I'm leaving for Houston so my...well, you can call them my "step-family" but we aren't lawfully or blood related - it's my mother's boyfriend and his daughter. Anyway, I'm going there because they want to celebrate my birthday. I'm looking forward to boot shopping because they've got AWESOME shops for finding those perfect spiked, studded, chained and shiny black boots ^.^
I'm also looking forward to a chocolate lava cake I said I wanted, but I never got much of a response on that. I know I have to expect dinner but I just kinda want my boots and cake... I'm not big on the party scene, I just want whatever it is I want and then go home. I want to sit here and WRITE actually.

Oh, happy birthday. :D I wish you all the best hun. :D I'm bored at the moment, lol. How did you decide to join?

Oh, happy birthday. :D I wish you all the best hun. :D I'm bored at the moment, lol. How did you decide to join?

@ XXXataktoulaXXX
Hi!
I'm Sabrina and I'm not sure how I am yet. I just woke up and I can't see too well. But since I'm supposed to celebrate the day I was born, it can't be too bad, can it?

How are you?

Hello there. :) Welcome to mibbaland and nice to meet you love. *_* By the way I'm Marian. How are you hun? :D

Hello there. :) Welcome to mibbaland and nice to meet you love. *_* By the way I'm Marian. How are you hun? :D

@ treacherous
Well, it is officially my birthday with the strike of midnight, meaning its hella late so, I'll be off now. I'm not sure what time zone you're in but I bid you goodnight.

@ RebelBullet
Well said, friend.

@ treacherous
Hard to say. People obsess over other people and it may just be more of a "I want to know more about this real person than this fantasy person" even though fan fictions are always completely fictitious and would be considered a fantasy as well. Real people are more interesting and people want to see their favorite people in a good light, read something that fulfills their fantasy of that person. Original fictions can't do that for them.

I'm not impartial, but I'm very picky. I'll admit to shunning an original work over a fanfic because my expectations were met more for the latter than the former. It's harder for me to find what I want in a story in something original because there aren't any preset lines like there is in fan fiction (which a lot of people ignore anyway and make totally AU/OOC fics that I can't stand). In originals, there are no boundaries and you can make this really dark and depressing person go to Victoria's Secret and pick out lots of pink, cheeky lingerie. It doesn't have to makes sense. And that's why I tend to go for the works that make things flow together within reason of the story. Like if a vampire fic starts talking more about magic and fairies than vampires, I've lost interest. If a sy-fy fantasy involving spaceships and robots starts changing into some Ghost Busters knock-off, I've lost interest.

I'm all for creative freedom, but it needs to work with the story. Otherwise, you should start a different story. I also have a thing about it being properly written which is getting harder to find, but I'm just very picky about these things. I write more than I read because of it. Fan fiction or original, I still write more than I read. If I happen upon something that piques my interest and matches most of my standards (which you can imagine is difficult), I'll never be able to stop reading it until I get to the end, and miss it terribly when its over. I try to make my stories fit my own criteria and make my characters as close to how they are in real life as possible because that's interesting to me.

Granted, a lot of people who read fan fictions aren't nearly that picky but...