I posted something about a year ago talking about life after attempting suicide. I explained the causes leading to said attempt. And all those things, so it has been about a year since I have updated my blog on here. And i wanted to update everything again. Explain that really, truly life does get better.Two years ago in December i was lying on my bathroom floor crying with a bottle of pills. I...

I wrote a blog the other day about the guy that I was so frightened of letting see the better part of me. The vulnerable side.I had mentioned all my fears and how I hoped that I could get past them. But alas I couldn't. He quit talking to me. Just up and started to ignore my texts. It hurts. Actually it hurts pretty damn bad. I find myself wanting to hear his voice and read his texts and smile...

For years I had had terrible relationship after terrible relationship. I don't regret any of them though. They made me who I am today, but I don't know how to do anything but those types of relationships.I'm having that problem right now. I met a guy, and I really like him. He already considers me his girlfriend, and I want to consider him my boyfriend I really do. But I find myself having panic...

I'm pissed off today.My manager at work is a douchebag. That basically sums up how my day has been. My manager has just been a royal dick, all without directly speaking to me. Wonderfuckingful.But it's not only that. I go home, because I don't want to deal with my manager and now I have to deal with my mom that is bitching. Always she is going through worse than me. Always her life is worse than...

My father has went to rehab once.He had been hooked on meth though for over 20+ years.That doesnt include all the other drugs that he has done. I remember stories that he told me about his drugs. About what all he has taken. And then there are those times where I witnessed him on his highs. I had always assumed that my father just had severe insomnia.When i was younger, I was playing in my friends...

So when it comes to dating, I am completely hopeless.I like to be alone, I like to be left alone, and in all honesty I hate pushy people. My mother says I'm and introvert or whatever the heck that is. So because I really dont care for people I just don't date.Simple right?Yeah well I do get lonely, and there are few people out there that I do like, like enough to spend most of my time with them....

So I do realize that the title is kind of terrible.But it's seriously something that I want to talk about. In December some terrible things happened. I went through a miscarriage, went through a terrible heartbreak and had a best friend completely betray me. Actually it was more like three best friends.I have been suffering from Severe Depression and Acute Anxiety Order ever since I can remember....

I miss him.I miss him an ungodly amount, and there is nothing I can do to change it. This feeling. Ugh, how I hate this feeling. Like my chest has a dull ache, and when I see him it intensifies to a sharp throb.Worst part about all of this is that he knows. Or well I think he knows. And I know that I should just move on, but I keep being reminded of all the good times. We had so very few bad...

I was just told by a friend that he thought suicide was stupid. He hated it, it disgusted him. He thought it was selfish. And he's right.But I couldn't help but find myself offended. Because he only thought that suicide was done by immature people who had no care for other people. But that's not always true.I believe that suicide is a stupid answer. But sometimes it's hard. Hard to keep on living...

I'm writing This while I'm laying in bed with my Droid.And I think there is something wrong with me. I don't get why I keep feeling like this, like I can't talk to anyone. Like I'm being pulled under and I can't break through the ice that has frozen above me. Is this depression? Is there something wrong with me?Why do I always feel like I want to slide down a wall and Just ball my eyes out. Why...