i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but it won't be soon...i am...but...

my life being in downward spiral seems comforting and breaking at times. A dear one passed away recently, and no matter how hard I try, I can't help but wish that I should have been that kid. She's still young, a big bright future ahead. She hasn't dug a deep of a hell hole as i have, and she deserves to move forward and succeed in life more than what I have right now. Why should this damn thing...