I don't want to die, but living isn't really on my to-do list lately.Would anyone understand that if I told them? Would they just roll their eyes and tell me to get over it, like I've heard times and times before? Or would they stay and listen, only to give some shallow advice I've heard again and again, never making an impact of difference on me either. They say we're not alone, but I beg to...

I've been apart of the mibba community for...what is it... four years now? I've been on hiatus for a long time however because of life issues and just a lack of want to be on here.I was debating whether to come back or not.Is Mibba still about writing? Because lately all I've been seeing is people using this site as a "myspace" sort of deal. Is my work going to be appreciated like it was in the...

if you were in a decent relationship. With a boy who was pretty good to you, kind of lacking in common sense, but you know he loved you. He had a hard time showing it, but you've managed to tune him up and make him a good partner.But then he started neglecting you. You ended up seeing his best friend more than him, and became closer with his best friend. Then one day, in the midst of your anger...

Hi there.let's list my homework for tonight, shall we?- write a letter in chinese- read a chapter of "Night" for honors english- do pointless history homework- three science questions, even though Woro never checks his homework.- music theory homework that I never do anyway- math homework that I did half of.Wow, fuck that.I don't feel like doing anything, I don't feel good. I think it's just my...

I wish I wasn't so crazy. I wish I didn't hate myself for everything.I wish i didn't think I had to be extraordinary, ordinary isn't enough for me. It reminds me too much of how I'm going to be nothing when I'm older. The cynical parts of me make me live in fear of even school ending.It's sucks because I hate school, yet never want to leave it. Leaving it means the end of everything, i'll never...

I don't even know if I used/spelled that word right.Something is wrong. Again.I know I haven't posted in a really long time, but things are beginning to repeat itself in my pathetic life.Let's sum up my life right now:name: Kristagrade: freshmantown: still boring sparta.friends: totally different-to elaborate a bit, I'm with more of the smarter/theatrical people now. I've branched my friends a lot...

Ehhh, feeling a little..useless, right now.I don't feel like anyone needs me, and they're all just using me. It's not a fun feeling.I'm just having an overcast feeling.I've hardly done anything all day. My day has consisted of:Japanese music, Kingdom Hearts, flute, drinking my weight, and being anti-social.Oh, and I can't forget the part where my parents have been fighting right outside my door.My...

Yes, the title probably scared the living daylights out of you. But, I bet it caught your attention!So, this evening I've had absolutely nothing to do, other than walk around the block with my neighbors. I decided to clean out my closet, which was supposed to be a project to be done tomorrow morning with my mom.Me cleaning is probably the funniest thing you'll ever see. Especially when it comes to...

I've been dreading this for weeks now. And it was finally due and my mother wouldn't let me go to the movies without writing it ): I'm an atheist but my parents don't know, so they're forcing me to confirm. We had to write an essay about it. Urgggh. Care to read it? I'm sorry if I offend anyone. I was quite pissed off while writing it, since religion bothers me a bit...but here it is! I think it's...

K, I'm going to ramble a bit because I feel like it.I had a fun weekend! I hung out with a bunch of my favorite friends on Friday, then on Saturday I got to go to my best friend's band's gig and went back to his house and chilled with like five really funny guys. Ha it was fun.Though then my best friend asked me for a blow job o_O that's okay though! He was like drunk, but he seriously didn't...

Lies, everywhere.Projecting over platinum screens.Fairydust, injected in veins.We can fly, we can fly.It's true, you're a liar.Trust in me, we'll run away.Breathe in deep, the rose decay.Love and hate, in betweenSlicing ribbon stains on your white shirt.Terribly sorry, clean that up.Like the mess I fade.Break with the tide.Vision blurry, is that you by my side?Trust in me, we'll run away.Breathe...

I can't take this anymore. I'm so fucking confused and by the end of this I'm probably going to cry again.1; why won't you just admit it? You hate me. I know you do. I know it. If you didn't, you would be there for me. You would talk to me. You'd tell me things like a normal fucking friend would. You're killing me with your lies. I can't stand it! "I could never hate you." bullfckingshit. Then you...

Seen the movie? Ha, want to explain it to me?[spoiler if you haven't seen it]So, I get that the girl [ellie] was hurting her little sister [laura] and her mom found out and then locked her in the room-she had an asthma attack and her inhaler wasn't working, and the bear with the camera and yeah you get what I mean right?-Why was Ellie hurting her?-Who was the first to die?-Who was this Ellie...

You know what's lovely?I can't write here anymore.I can't live here anymore.Mibba isn't a safe haven for me anymore.Because SHE found my address.SHE reads my journals.Nothing's private from her anymore.I can't express my feelings without getting a mouthful from her.And this fucking hurts.I love writing these.I love having opinions.But I can't write about anything that SHE could tell EVERYONE.I...

[thank you noelle for a word (: ]Dear [let's call her 'friend' shall we?],I've noticed your strong dislike to me lately (listening to you verbalize it, expressing it through petty 'away messages' on instant messenger [my favorite being this one now; "I hate you. your a bitch. goodbye."] or gossiping to my closest friends about it) and I feel it's pointless and just another way you decide to draw...

so, I'm having some problems right now with overall friends and life. But it was easier to get through because I have Erik, my boyfriend. Seriously, he's helped me without even realizing it. The day he leaves for vacation (oddly enough) hell breaks loose.this is my 'friend' Laura talking on my friend Karen's Instant Messenger. P.S she has gone out with Erik. I was not her friend when we started...

So if you read my other Journal entry, I mentioned me liking a guy. Ha well, that guys name is Erik. He's really nice and stuff and I won't drag on about it like a pansy because I doubt you want to hear about it.Anyway, I was bothering him last night (we're friends so I'm allowed to bother him haha) about who he liked. And he wouldn't tell me. So he made me guess. And I asked him if it was someone...

I can't feel much right now. Whether I'm happy or sad, good or bad, naughty or nice. I'm so confused.I broke up-for good-with my girlfriend. It was dramatic as always. She's keeping space from me. I think she wants the space. I respect that. It's hard not having her. She said I could talk to her any time, but I don't have the guts to talk to her after all I've put her through.My friend, Laura,...

Bleh, I'm so tired and mad and furiated and frustrated. >_<Today was actually a decent day, for once. Until I got home.I don't want to talk much about it, but I'll say this-My school admin. SUCKS. They are pathetic and unrealisitic.I wanted to take Russian 1 again next year, seeing I was absent a lot this year and didn't really get a decent grade in it, but I CAN'T.Because only about 10 (so...

Russian FinalsSo, if you've realized I've been really freaked out about Russian Finals. Today was especially fearful because we had to actually TALK to my russian teacher. We had to talk for a minute about ourselves..in Russian of course.I was freaking out so much. I didn't write what I was going to say until ten minutes in the period before Russian. I thought I'd forget all of it. I rehersed for...