Grief is a strange thing. It's been less then three weeks since I lost my brother, so it's still so raw and shocking...Yet, I have moments that I I float along in life, and I can sometimes feel fine, like nothing has ever happened. But then there are other moments where I ache for Sam, where I really can't bring myself to do anything but sit and feel sad. In those moments, I feel closer to Sam and...

I'm looking for some story reccs. Specifically, I'm looking for an MCR fanfic, in which the character of Frank is kind of "broken"...So like, depressed or abused or whatever. If you've read some of carcinogenics stuff, the way Frank is in some of her stories like Headlights and Crash Into My Fucking Arms, that's the sort of thing I'm looking for. Fics that deal with mental illness would be good...

Sam died today, just before 12pm. Heaven has gained a new hero.I am devestated, but I know now he is in a better place, fully-healed and free from pain.There were many moments throughout the night last night where we thought, "This is it" but he held on. When he passed away, I can not describe the feeling I felt sat by his side. It was sad and yet somehow felt so sacred.He is so loved.I am finding...

The journal title is the only way I can sum it up because words just can't describe what I'm feeling.I just got a call from my parents. I was with them and Sam at the hospice today but I came home with my aunt earlier. When I saw Sam today he was pretty "out of it". He was awake but he's on so many diffierent pain and anti-seizures meds etc that he was pretty dazed. He seemed comfortable though,...

I'm really worried for my Mum, you know. We've all been though hell these past few weeks (see my previous journals if you don't know what I'm talking about) but I think she's the one that's been through the most.She's like the rock of this family. I've seen her break down into tears more then a few times lately, yet somehow she just carries on. But I know deep down her heart is breaking more then...

I honestly feel as if there's someone up there looking out for us! If you've read my previous journals you probably know that my older brother Sam is currently in hospice care dying of leukemia. Today is his twenty-third birthday.For the past few days he's slept most of the time and when he was awake he really wasen't coherent. Well, today was entirely different!He has been awake and talking for a...

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,speaking words of wisdom, let it be.And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,speaking words of wisdom, let it be.And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,there will be an answer, let it be.For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,there will be an answer. let it...

Thanks to my dad realising that no-one in my family was going to be getting much sleep for the next few days, he picked me and I was to our local hospice by 7.30.I never got why my brother didn't want to die at home, but the hospice is a nice place. I mean, it can't exactly be a nice place because of what happens there but...You get my drift.I had planned to spend the whole day there because my...

Thank you to everyone who responded to my last journal.Your advice is more appreciated then you could know. I've made my decision, and I will be going to see my brother. Tomorrow morning, probably. You guys were right - This is my last chance I will get to see him, to let him know how much he is loved. I do not want to regret missing that chance for the rest of my life. I havn't decided if I want...

I really need some advice. I don't really have long to consider it either. I'm so torn, I don't know what to do.My older brother is dying. He's twenty-two...It's his twenty-third birthday the day after tomorrow, and he's on his death bed. How does that make sense? He's in a hospice right now.He hasn't even been ill that long. See, he had spinal cancer a few years back. He was fine, though, he got...

I just got back from Paris late last night. I was only gone for five days but it felt like FOREVER. We did all sorts of things, but my favorite was definitey Disneyland, by miles. I had a lot of fun that day. =)We were travelling back all day yesterday, which was, of course, international MCR day! I guess I was kinda international, seeing as I was in France one hour and England the next, haha. I...

For the next six hours I'm just going to be chilling on Mibba and Youtube, mostly -I'm going to Paris with school in the morning and I have to be up at 4.30-5am, so instead of going to sleep I'm just going to stay awake all night and then sleep for a few hours on the coach, as we have a twelve hour journey, which I'm not really looking forward too, haha.I need to be entertained, so if you know any...

There's this girl on here. I won't give out her username, because I don't see the need...But she has these youtube videos up, claiming they're her. They're of a girl singing and playing guitar.I thought I'd seen the videos before, so I was suspicious to begin with. I clicked on them, and then I clicked on the youtube account, which leads to the real girls myspace. This girl on Mibba has the videos...

So, I have pretty bad writers block right. I really really want to start a story but I havn't got a clue what about. It's really depressing me. I'm tempted to just write a totally cliche Freard just so I've got something to write about.Do you ever get that? Where you really WANT to write but your minds just blank.I was complaining to my mum and she was like, "Write a story about Frank's dog."...

No, seriously, I am. xDThere was this guy on Britain's Got Talent, who did a Gollum impression. It was actually suprisingly good, but he didn't get through because the judges didn't think it could work as an actual act. Well, he lives in the same town as me, which I think is amazingly awesome, even if he is a bit freaky...xDThey just did a feature on him on "Britains Got More Talent" called "The...