blue. / Comments

BLUE I HAVE NEWS, MORE NEWS. And I'm sorry I'm giving you two essays here but like, you have to know.

Jordan text me, and he invited me out to the pontoon with the crowd from the party. I went there, and nothing happened. In fact, we rarely talked at all. More so because everybody was making jokes about the fact that we got on each other, which in turn, made it totally awkward.

But walking back, we walked through the woods in our huge group, and he was walking with me for a lot of it, and we were talking about random stuff that passing people came and joined in with and so yeah, that was cool.

Then we got to the park, and all the boys started playing football. And their other friend, Matt, was waiting in the car park to take Georgie and Steph to McDonald's in his car. So, we talked to him for a bit and d'you know what? You know the beautiful guy I wouldn't let go of when I was drunk on my last day of school? Matt's his brother. And they are very alike. But Matt's more, I don't know, he seems to listen to you more. And he's not the performing arts type - whereas Sam is, which means his ego is not as big. As we know arty guys always have big egos *COUGH COUGH COOTIES BOY*.

But then everyone started to leave and I walked most of the way home with Jordan and his friend, Stu. And they both had bikes but Jordan walked his on the pavement next to me and it was really flirty. And we talked and play-argued again and had a laugh and it was really nice, but we got to the end of my road and he cycled off with a "see ya".

But not a second later, Georgie rang me. And she told me she was in McDonald's and Matt was in the toilets and she told me all the things he'd said about me. Apparently, he thought I was 'pretty hot', and he 'couldn't believe someone like Jordan could pull someone as gorgeous as me'. And she Georgie insisted on hooking us up, so I agreed, for the hell of it - because I knew nothing was going to happen with Jordan.

She gave me Matt's number at 11pm, because he had asked her to. I text him, and we didn't stop texting until 2am. And oh god, he's the sweetest. And he told me that he thought I looked gorgeous, and he asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend, and gave me a pet name in every text and he's doing English at college because he loves stories and poems. I text him half an hour ago (it's now 11.44am) and he told me he's writing a poem. And he asked if I'm free tonight because he wants to see me. And wow, I just, god, wow.

I told Georgie that my walk home with Jordan was still really flirty and she said that Jordan's still not the girlfriend-type of guy. And Matt said the same about him. But I just, I need to see Matt just as much as I've seen Jordan so far so I can properly like, compare, y'know. But somehow I think I'm going to prefer Matt.

I had to tell you that, because I haven't told anyone yet and it's fighting off my chest and I knew you had to be the first one because I can be so honest with you. 'Cos we're soulmates and all.

I hope everything is good with you!

I LOVE YOU.

Yay, because I love my story too. I do, I do.

And d'you know - I added everyone from the party on Facebook and I added Jordan, and he accepted. And he wrote on my wall, and he said he never got a chance to get my number, which at midnight last night, my friend Phoebe and I decided that meant he wanted it. Otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned it. So, I gave it to him.

And yes, I would like to see him again. But I'm still going to wait. He needs to text me first, and give me his interest first because otherwise I get clingy and I get attached and I scare the living daylights out of boys when I get like that. Jordan practically wet himself once when a drunken girl said "I love you" to him. He's skitzy, bless him. So, I want to be cool. And if we do be a couple, we'd be a cool couple. Who don't write gooey love notes on Facebook and we don't go overboard with the public displays of affection. We'd be friends.
'Cos sometimes gooey is good. I just can't see it working with Jordan and me.

Oh, baby. What you text him was beautiful. And even after everything, deep down I think Josh is a nice guy. And we all have our problems on the outside and sometimes other people just get them a lot worse. But he realises things and he gets deeper than any other boy I have heard of, and he uses the word 'love'.
Please see him next week. Have you seen him since you broke up? I want you to see how it goes, and what it means. It can speak volumes - meeting face to face. And then tell me, because I don't care how much you talk about yourself because I like hearing about yourself. And I talk about myself just as much. So we're even, 'cos we share the same soul.

But I was also talking to one of the guys I met at that night we left school the other afternoon. He wasn't drunk the night I met him, so he reminded me of all the crazy things I said and my god, I felt really slutty. Like, overboard with the whole I-want-a-kiss thing, and I started to regret it all. But Jack (this guy) was cool, and he said I was young and drunk and that's just the normal thing to do, and his opinion of me hasn't changed because I was clearly not the only one doing it that night.
But with Jordan, I wasn't all over him right from the start. In fact, I rarely spoke to him at all at first and when he found out that I thought he was cute, I avoided him even more, and waited for him to come to me - waiting skeptically too; I was convinced nothing would happen at all. But he did. He came and he stayed the whole night. And that was the first proper kiss I have had in a year and it was beautiful. So I think I might change my attitude this summer. It's prom on Friday, and I still have that 'deal' with that guy, but I don't care too much if it doesn't work out. I guess I found out that you find things when you stop looking.

Plus, mine and Jordan's play fighting gave me a bruise, which I found hilarious, so I made it my status. His status was on Saturday, "Good night last night :) McDonalds at 7 was lush :)" - and this was before we were Facebook friends, so before he knew I would see it. A lot of people commented on the "good night" remark, but what do you expect? They're 17 year old guys who actually haven't had much action or many girlfriends. They thrive off gossip like this, bless them.

I love you so much, soul mate.

I could never disappoint you? Never, ever? Because that's good. Because I have more news. Bigger news than last time.

Yesterday I saw Rich. And I tried to push him off the face of the planet cos he's boring and dull and ugh, I don't care for him. So I went home, and I went to my friend's house cos her parents were away and she was having a party. And she's got lots of friends who are guys from college. And the party was just them, and I've met most of them before and they're lovely.
And we drank small amounts, and one guy got reeeeeally drunk and kept forgetting my name so just called me "the hot one" all night, which was TOTALLY weird and I didn't believe him because no one's called me that in ages, pahaa. And then we started this thing where you pinch the back of someone's arm, just above their elbow and it hurts SO bad, so a lot of us were play-fighting like that and attacking each other with clothes pegs, and I was doing it a lot with this guy I hadn't met called Jordan who omg, blue, he's so cute. He's got big brown/green eyes and soft moppy hair and freckles and his nose scrunches up when he laughs. And I told my friend that I thought he was cute and then EVERYBODY had the plan to hook us up. And they told Jordan and he did nothing about it and I just knewwwww it would be a waste of time.
But it got later and later and lots of people went home and we went from a crowd of 15, to about 7, and then to 5. And Jordan and I were play fighting more than ever, and it was so funny. And he kept grabbing my hands and everyone was whispering about us and all, trying to make plans. And then one of our friends left, so the rest of us decided to go on a spontaneous midnight walk: me, Jordan and this guy called Nour. And when we got outside, Jordan slipped his hands around my waist and we walked all the way around the block with our arms around each other or fighting again.
When we got back inside, we started doing vodka shots, which wasn't clever. This was about 2am. And so we were starting to get tipsy, and I was sat on a chair facing a sofa, and Jordan was on the sofa. He kept winding me up by putting his legs on my lap , but then he started taking my hands, and he was holding them for ages. And then he would blame me for something like being too loud for a joke and then push his face up to mine, and then we'd eskimo kiss, and then we decided to have these staring competitions and we'd just end up laughing and then he put his hands on my waist and pulled me really close. Then, Nour was about to leave at 3am, and I was turned to the side, facing Nour and telling him there was no point going home when it's nearly light and as I was talking, Jordan was like, kissing my neck and my collar bone and then my ear and my cheek really softly and Nour apologized to my friend, Georgie and said, "I'm really sorry for leaving you, Georgie. I know it's gonna be pretty awkward, I mean, we all know what's going to happen over there!" (meaning Jordan and me). And that's when I said to him, "What are you insinuating?!" and started to laugh, and Jordan was laughing, and I turned my head around and we kissed. And we kept like, kissing softly and laughing and then we had to break away because Nour had gone, so when Georgie got up to shut the door behind him we were kissing and giggling and ugh, it was so cute. Then Georgie sat back down next to us and she had her phone out, so we knew she was texting everyone and in the end we gave up trying to steal it off her, and Jordan put his arm around my waist and we just sat there for a while, and he kept like kissing me lots of little times. And I was practically falling off the sofa at this point so I got up and went to sit in the study, that also has a sofa and Jordan followed. And he jumped down on it first and put his arm out for me to come in for a cuddle, which I did. And this was 5am, and we just began on this marathon serious making out fest. And he was running his hands through my hair, and then down my back and over my waist and I was doing the same to him. And my God, it went on for ages, and we stopped every while or so to talk about nonsense things and had more fights and wow.
And we got up at 6am and walked with our arms around each other for about twenty minutes to the nearest McDonald's where the three of us got breakfast and yeah, we walked back and we said goodbye with a big hug because I think the kissing thing was just for when we had drink, and the sun was coming up, and it was a really long night and yeah, I don't know.

But he asked for my number but I didn't have a chance to give it to him because we were being made to get up by Georgie but I don't want to get overly into him. I just want to treat this as a crazy one night party thing. I'm sick of getting too involved. If he wants my number, he can ask for it again, right?

So yes, that's my story I gave you snippets to on Facebook chat. :D

But back to you. And Josh. And I know what you mean. Apparently, drunken words speak sober minds, because I know for sure that the guy that got really drunk last night was speaking his heart for the first time that night. My friend's boyfriend is like that, he gets very messed up and has a lot of anger problems and she is very caught up in it. You just need to make sure that you are still able to leave him when you want to and need to, and not still be stuck because of his problems. But yes, I would be the same as you. I would feel like it gives me a purpose. Something to mould. Like in Perks, the way girls like to have a purpose?

I love you. And we do have the same soul. And am lucky to have found you.

Hey Shelby! My name is Faye and I wanted to tell you that your stories are awesome! You are a really great writer! Also, I like your profile picture! :)

I haven't heard Drama Queen yet D: I need to, I have heard some good stuff about it, though. I'm listening to When It's Time now. I want a Billie. So bad.
And Coming Clean? How beautiful. I loved it when he played Christie Road, but it was sad because I seemed to be the only person for a long while who was singing along; I think I was the only one who knew the words because it's such an old song. I love the line, "See the hills from above, standing on my beat up car." It's the name of my tumblr :D I totally want those lyrics tattooed across my foot. Either those or, "For what it's worth, it was worth all the while."

Grumble, grumble @ Cooties Boy, I know. No, he dropped off the face of the planet for a month plus and OMG WHAT A LOVELY MONTH THAT WAS, but he's back. I'm seeing him today. In a matter of hours. I'm totally going to try and push him off the face off the planet this time. I will.

Wow, it's funny how you come across people like that. People you look at and think, no way. Like my ex. He liked rap music, and r&b stuff. And wore track pants. And I still found myself attracted to him. But we had nothing in common, so it wouldn't have lasted long time fo' sure, but still.

Hard to get? That's a good thing, paha. I'm not hard to get. I'm easy. So easy it breaks my heart.

Blue, I have to tell you that I got drunk last night. It was our official last time at school until we get our exam results. So the whole Class of 2010, like, 400 of us, went to the farm - on the fields and everybody drank and it was good because you could talk to everybody - even the popular people you used to be self-conscious around. One of them was crying, and I was brushing her hair out of her face and kissing the top of her head and telling her she was beautiful and nobody should tell her any different.
And this one guy, called Sam, is gorgeous. So gorgeous. And he sang in the assembly we had today, and he's going to this top-notch arts college to do Musical Theatre and he's so beautiful. And when I see him we always hug and it makes my belly funny because his hugs are the warmest and softest and most loving hugs you could ever get.
... But he was there, and I spent ages with him. And I was really tipsy and he was ever so slightly. And I was all over him. I mean, we didn't kiss or anything. We just held each other loads, and kept holding hands, and we'd come over and see each loads and I told him how beautiful I thought he was. And he told me I was beautiful, too. And wow, I felt so bad because I was kind of glued to him - so I kept apologizing all drunkenly and he kept holding my hands and my waist and telling me it was cool, and it was okay.

But the thing is, it's breaking my heart the same way as it's breaking yours. Because when I'm sober, I never talk to him that much. Because I can't think of anything interesting to say. But when you're drunk, it rolls off your tongue and you can't stop it. And yet it always works out okay. Like all the popular people, I could say the exact right thing to them when I was drunk. And I wasn't even afraid to, or worried about it. But like, that's not me. But then, maybe it is me? They say that drunken words speak sober minds. So, why can't I be like that when I am sober?

I want to say last night was good, because I had the time of my life, but I don't know. I met some lovely people, people I've never spoken to before. And I'm going to make sure that I still talk to them. And alcohol doesn't act like a switch between sociable and open to quiet and shy and worried about what people think. It's my prom next week, July 02. And I want to dance with everyone.

I don't regret anything even though I think I should. I mean, I had a cigarette too. My first one. And horribly, it wasn't bad. And I didn't cough and it didn't taste horrible either. And I said to Sam that his opinion of me was going to change after that night, but he told me it never would, and I'd always be beautiful. And jflkdsfjldsa, I feel like Charlie in Perks. I really do.

I read Little Ghost. And I guess I'm in your situation now, except that I'm Josh.
Your writing is gorgeous, by the way.

I LOVE YOU. And I hope I haven't disappointed you :(

Thanking yer ;) And omg, I forgot to say that you are gorgeous. Not that I didn't think that anyway - but now we are FACEBOOK BUDDIES WOO.

I was very glad too that I got to see the boys. They did, Billie did his acoustic encore thing and played When It's Time, Wake Me Up When September Ends aaand Time of Your Life ofc. Have you heard When It's Time? Their new one? I love it but I didn't know it at the time and I couldn't tell what he was playing and it made me kinda sad. But it was beautiful still. I loveloveloved the acoustic encore he did at my first show 'cos he played CHRISTIE ROAD, and omg, I was a pile of goo.

You are totally welcome :D And oooh please tell me about this new boy :D
I, er, have nobody new right now. Rich (Cooties Boy) is still on the scene, but he annoys me so much I just talk really short and blunt to him, I'm a bitch. He still thinks I am his biggest fan. Ho ho if only he knew. But I had a dream I met his girlfriend and she was so lovely and we were like, best of friends. And then there's this guy who is my friend's boyfriend's twin and he's diggin' me - which is a HUGE deal because he can't talk to girls. But he talks to me. And there's a party at said friend's house on Friday and I am really wondering how it's gonna go. This guy like, lurks around for me on Facebook chat, you see. And yeah, that's it really.
But like, it's my college taster day coming up and I'm peeing myself because the place is huge and we're noobs and I just hope I run into some beauty in a GD shirt that shows me where everything is. But I don't want to be too particular and all. Paha.

OMG HE TEXTED YOU? I HOPE IT WAS JUST NICE AND FRIENDLY AND NOT NIIIICE~ AND FRIENDLYY~ cos you don't want all that again. You've got the right idea if you ask me, just wait and see how things go.

And you don't have to apologise. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I CANNOT IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT YOU. eeeeeeeee.

Yeah, I am totally over-analytical. Like, with everything. I confuse myself so much I wind up crying and I don't even know why.

And you'll get another best friend. You will. And right now I bet you're all, "I DON'T WANT ANOTHER ONE - I WANT HIM BACK" etccc but sooner or later you won't think like that anymore. I was like that when I broke up with my ex, I could've sworn there was no one else I wanted, and he was perfect, but there were plenty more perfect people I found after that. For example, the perfect perfect fireman guy I found in April. He's just... omg. Words cannot describe.

It's okkkkkk about the whole GD thing. Even my best friend forgot. But I guess that's because she was hardly jealous or excited for me because she could thing of nothing worse than a GD concert. We're so different now blue :( and she gets on my nerves all the time. I hate growing apart.
But yessss they were gorgeous, bless 'em. And I'm glad cos I don't have post-show depression this time 'round. I'm just uber content and squeeeing that I've seen them twice :)

I LOVE YOU MORE.
And omg the next step from Facebook is hand-written letters. Paha, no, that's just me being desperate to bring back snail mail. LOLILOVEYOU.

It might be 10 days since your last Mibba comment but you did tell me you loved me on Tumblr. And I was very happy you did so and it was very un-bad-friend-ish so sssshh. :D I will always wub you.

You're torn, I can tell. What's eating you exactly?
I hope I can help somehow cos I hate seeing you like this :(

I also have to add that I saw Green Day last Saturday and ohmygod, they were incredible. If I had to choose, I'd say that my first show was better because one, we were closer and two, Billie was blonde. Apart from that they were both phenomenal and I love those boys so much and I can't wait for them to come back.

I added you on Facebook. I am very happy we are about to become buddies! I'm Kirsty Bates, by the way. Just incase you forget that my real name isn't actually Teddy. :P

I LOVE YOU.

I'm totally going to write you an essay now. I hope you don't mind.

He's messing with your head. I know how much you like this word so I'm going to call him a goober. He shouldn't be telling you that he loves you if he doesn't mean it. And looking at the way he decided to then put sleep before you tells me that maybe he doesn't.

You don't deserve to be messed around with, darling.

My friends gave me this awesome book called He's Just Not That Into You. Maybe you've seen the film? But seriously, it's fuckoff cheap from Amazon or whatever and I recommend for you to read it SO MUCH. It's basically the guide to letting you step back from a guy you like and seeing if makes any moves on you and if he doesn't, then .... he's just not that into you.

It's harsh stuff, really. I read it a while ago when I was totally caught up with this fireman I met at the funerals for my dad's buddies and basically, we sorta hooked up in between getting a little drunk and he said I was lovely, and everyone was trying to set us up and he told me that he felt like he was being held back because he works with my dad but there was so much he wanted to say to me. And God, at the end of the night we kissed and I was tooootally crazy and could not get him off my mind which killed me when we had to move on and all.

It tells you things like if he's not calling you, then you're not on his mind. And if you can find him, then he can find you. And "I'm busy" is another way of saying "I'm an asshole/goober" and blue, it's so good. It really teaches you to be all fierce and like, "Y'know what, if you want me - then come get me. If you don't, then it's your loss."

Which it is. Because you're beautiful.

But yesss I've been just dandy. I'm in the middle of all my final exams. My English and Religious Studies have been gorgeous so far - but Maths wasn't. And my upcoming Geography and Science exams are seeming a lot like a joke, so eeek, I don't know. But we've finished school and it's just come-back-in-for-exams time so we WOULD be enjoying the sunshine except for the fact that it's raining. But there's going to be loooads of parties and get togethers and days on the beach and omg, this summer is going to be a good one - I just hope my internal organs can stand all the drinking. I can't wait. Not to mention, it all kicks off with Green Day on June 19. I just need a goddam boyfriend now to do this all with...

I LOVE YOU TOO.
And do you have Facebook? Because I was wondering if you would like to be buddies. You don't have to, I'd understand if you wanted to keep us as Mibba buddies, but if you do then let me know :D

xx

What have you two been talking about late at night? D'you know why he broke up with you?

And seriously, blue, I'm not judging you at all for talking about yourself or getting too wrapped up in things because we've already established that you and I are soulmates. And whatever you're feeling now is the same as what I felt a year ago. I just want to make sure you're okay, no matter what that takes.

xxx

Oh Blue, baby. That's exactly what I went though. My ex? Ignored me for a week after everything was going beautiful, and then told me he didn't know where things were going and was starting to prefer it when we were just friends.

It was a kick in the teeth. It really was. I cried for a whole weekend.
I've only been through this once so I don't know if anything I say will help, but I'll take you through what I did.

He went on holiday the day after he broke up with me, and I cried and cried and cried. And then I remembered that he was in Spain. And he had no idea I was crying, and no idea I was thinking about him, and no idea I was missing him and all in all, I knew for sure that I did not cross his mind half the time he crossed mine. And I guess that's when I stopped crying. And I got on with things, and I saw my friends a lot - and I completely fell back into a HUUUGE Green Day phase where all I thought about was meeting someone just like Billie Joe ;). I always decorate the edge of my mirror too in pens and stuff, and I inked the lyrics "It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right - I hope you had the time of your life" and they really helped me. Because right now, you probably don't know what to do. And you don't understand anything. And the next few days and weeks of you feeling like this will be unpredictable. But in the end, they turn out right. You will get over him. And maybe you will find someone new, or maybe you'll just feel as though you don't need anyone at all. And when you're ready to, focus on the good times that you had together. I do still, and it was nearly a year ago for me. I think about this reeeeally great barbeque we had at his house once, where everytime his parents would go inside - we'd quickly make out and then pretend nothing happened when they came back outside, and then we ended up in the garage together, fooling around and throwing food and it was so beautiful. But you'll learn to accept that that was wat happened, and it's over now and sooner or later, something just as beautiful will happen again.

And yes, don't worry. You know I am here for you, so I will type and type for as long as it takes!

But yes, things are good with me. It was my birthday on Wednesday, and I got my Green Day ticket in my birthday card :'), and I got my nose pierced and yeah, my exams are going okayish I hope and yes, summer's coming so I am very excited. :D

xxx

Blue, you are completely normal and you are not falling apart. Period.

I left school on Thursday and tomorrow is my very first final-end-of-education exam and I am nowhere near ready for it. I have an extra long summer of barbeques and prom and sunbathing and picnics and that's all I can think about. And I'm not ready for college because I felt so at home at school and I more than know what you are going through and that's my point. Everybody goes through that and everybody makes it through the other side, and you, my darling, are no exception.

And that's boys for you, blue. They put bros before hoes because they have tiny brains. But that does not mean he doesn't think of you as your girlfriend. If you ask me, he just wants to see you and be with you on his accord, because he's the boy and he wears the trousers and you're supposed to hang off his arm. But not all girls want it to be like that. Just - next time he goes off with his friends - leave him to it. Don't contact him and don't overly think of him and give him the impression you're having a jolly time doing something without him, and then - that manly trouser-wearing instinct will kick in and he'll want you to himself to be all protective again.

And please, blue, don't think that you aren't interesting and no one cares. Because they do. I care, and I haven't even met you. You are beautiful and you are interesting and you have awesome taste in things and you have that way of making me feel as though I can talk to you about anything and you will not judge. People are lucky to know you, and they are lucky to have you in their lives. And if they're not paying you attention, then you need to breathe, step back and join back in when you are ready to prove your existence. Follow your heart and do whatever makes you happy, blue, and worry about everybody else later.

And I don't know if this will help you or not, but I know it helps me: I sit back and look around me and count all the things I am thankful for in life. The big things, the things I would truly miss if they were gone. The important things in life, and I revel in the fact that I have them and I deserve them, and that helps me forget about the little things that do not matter.

Just don't forget that I am here for you. And I know we haven't met and I know that the only thing we communicate through is Mibba, but I've been here since 2007, which is 3 years now, and I can tell you - I'm not about to go anywhere.

All my love, your Teddy.
xxx

Nah-uh, I won't be blaming you for anything! Darling, whattsa matter? You can send me a pm if you want to let it all out.
I wub you very much.

xxx

BLUE, I MISS YOU SOULMATE D:

xx

Ughhhh that's gotta be like - the bestest powerpoint you could ever do. I hope it was beautiful like Kurt himself. I bought his journals off Amazon the other week and just, pure love.

Anywayyy like, what's new with me? Ah well, this week has been the funerals for dad's buddies. My first funerals ever. But blue, there was one on Tuesday and the next one as I write this will be tomorrow. But it was beautiful. So sad, but it was a proper do with fire engines and salutes and guards of honour and it was the send off they really deserved. So yeah, aaaaand all of dad's fireman friends are so lovely and some of them are nom. No kidding. And I get lots of kisses and hugs off them too, so smiles all round.

Ew, no, I dun like Rich either. It's all good. He text me again at school like, "D'you want to meet up on Sunday?" and cos I had no credit I had to catch him on MSN and was like, "Sorry, can't" and then he demanded to know why and then he kinda didn't reply for ages and said something about me having a virus? And it was totally weird. But I don't care. Cos tomorrow I have a fireman to say goodnight to, and the little things do not matter.

But OMGOMG blue, right, well as I wrote that about the pact guy, Matt, there was sooooo much to say. Like, we were talking about 'practicing' so we'd be ready to like... go all the way on prom night. And I was going to see him on Wednesday, and next week too and he was all, "omgomg i'm so excited/ cant wait" ETCCC and I was all, "Meh, nothing like living" and then, OMG, right, just as we were getting into it all - he signs off Facebook, comes back a few minutes later and says, "Kirsty I don't know how to tell you this. But I've just been talking to the girl I really like, and well, I don't think we should do anything because I don't want to risk anything happening with her and I." And it was like, booooombshell. So yah, I have been dumped by my fuck buddy but I'm okay. It's his loss. Seriously, if he hadn't dumped me - he would've, y'know, yeah. Had some by now.

Oh my oh my.

xx

D: blue i would never leave you! aaaand yay that rhymes :)

so yesss, tell me how you are. tell me news, if you have anything!

i have noooothing from rich whatsoever. except he text me in class the other day like, "i'm parked at your school with my friend" and well, i kinda went to see him when the bell went. just, cos, well, it was polite. and we hugged and everything and then his friend, sammi, came oveer and i basically talked to her more because i knew her from facebook and she was lovely so yeah. like, noooo feelings for him at all so yay. soo glad that's over.

but BLUE OMG YOU KNOW I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT GUY I HAD A PACT WITH ABOUT PROM NIGHT 'STUFF'? yahyahyah, i hope you remember. well, i kinda thought it would've blown over now and it was just like, 'spur of the moment', but turns out it's not. and we're deadly serious. and it might happen and eeeek, i am so bad. *hangs head in shame*

and likewise, blue. i wub yoou.

Haha, I hate craving a story you can't find anything about.

I know how you feel about the no Outsiders thing.
It sucks!
I wish people would write more because I've been craving them lately.

yah, it's kinda stressful but looking hopeful at the moment. there's lots to do and i was kinda like OMG LET'S DO IT ALL and it's sorta taken over all my revision for my final exams :$ so i'm gonna start trying to calm down a little... haha.

oh, don't worry about it. and if you ever wanna ask me anything... y'know, srsly, please do. i don't mind. my friends always do when they feel like being nosy :) and well, you count too.

OMG I KNOW WE'RE AWFUL. let's think... well, i have a new job. and yah, i'm deciding what to do at college and final exams and prom and it's all a bit tough at home because of dad's buddies and hmm, thinking about it - i haven't spoken to rich in aaaaages now. and i feel like writing a billie joe fan fic to get my mind of things.
tell me about you!

xx

ooooh, you do make me blush. and yah, hopefully. i've got my heart set on other things anyway - i'm organising a big summer gig and bbq at our local music venue to remember dad's buddies! it's going really well so far, i have a date pencilled in and all with the help of one of the guys from the venue, and we're gonna look in to finding some bands!
so yah, hopefully they'll be a nice lil bit of band candy for me... hahaha, only kidding! well, not really actually but yaknow. ;)

n'aww, i danno. you might be alright. i mean, as long as you're happy then there's nothing else to worry about. just let the time fly and you'll be fine. :)

oh no, it's okay, i'm quite an open one. ;) and nah, it didn't go ALLLL the way - but it was close. just some of the things we did. like, dry sex in our underwear. D: and well, i whacked him off a couple times. ahahaaaa.
i hope you don't judge. tis what happens after all. we kinda took it fast because it sort of started out like that. this was all after 6/7 weeks. but only because we started officially dating the day after he walked me home from his house and well, before we said goodbye we starting like, properly making out. so the next we were like, "er, are we together?" "er, yeah, why not!"
hahaaa, to be young...

xx