I was up at ten this morning, which is quite the feat considering my medication knocks me out and makes me a total zombie. I have, however, found a way to counteract the affects. Coffee. At least four cups every day.Sure, I get jittery, but it helps.I'm just bored enough today to post a journal. No bitching, though. Some good news.Finally I have gotten my act together enough to get a job and I...

It's happening again.I can't shut my brain off.I was prescribed Zyprexa to help me with my depression and inability to stop thinking, but I had to stop taking it because I couldn't stop eating...That's horrible, isn't it? I'd rather lose my mind than gain weight. I'm pathetic. Oh well.I try so hard to just think about something different, but it doesn't help. I really feel insane. Everything...

Christmas Eve I found out that my mom wanted to get a divorce from my dad. My sister told me the news. I wasn't shocked, just saddened because I had seen this coming for quite some time now.Christmas Day my mom told me herself and since then it's been quite chaotic.Every week it seems like they're back and forth on the whole divorce thing. They go from wanting to try and work it out, to not being...

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost eight months now and I keep getting these conflicting feelings, now more than ever.I think about us being together forever, yet I get scared and worried because what if my feelings end up changing? I love him, at least I believe I do... yet I sit and tell myself how can I know what love really is?I used to be anti love. I used to believe that love...

I've been told that I should start writing some of my thoughts down. Since the only thing I have handy is my laptop, I'll just use this as a means of doing so.To start, I'm not sure what I believe in anymore. I used to have faith in God, Jesus... all that good stuff. However, that was when I was about 9 or 10.My uncle died when I was 10 and it really made me start to question things. In the end I...

I just love how I can't seem to ever shut my mind off. It's constantly going and I'm just so sick of it. It doesn't help that my thoughts are racing.I'm at the end of my rope. I really am. I have no reason to feel the way I do, and yet it can't be helped...My shrink tells me that I shouldn't say that. She says that there is a reason for why I feel the way I do, I just have to figure out why.Every...

This month has just been so horrible. It's like, right when I think things couldn't get any lower they do. For the first time in a long time I am drained both emotionally and physically.My aunt, whom I have always had a very close relationship with, has managed to completely destroy pretty much her entire life. Normally, I wouldn't post something like this and make it public, but she's been doing...

What do you do when your world revolves around someone?They're the first thought in your head the second you wake up and you have those days where you just can't help but yearn for them.You'd give anything just to hold them, or have them hold you. Even the slightest touch, or a glimpse of that gorgeous smile would make everything better on your worst of days.Yet you can't help but feel as if...

I've come to the conclusion that I have too much time on my hands, and I feel that's never a good thing. With so much time, I do nothing but think.I think about things that have happened and what I could have done to avoid them or, in some cases, what would have possibly happened if I had done things differently.For instance; what if I had said yes the first time he had asked me out?Would we have...

As I sit here outside, watching the sky grow darker, I have a moment to myself to smoke in peace and let my mind wander.It's funny how as I grow older I still haven't the foggiest idea of what I want to do with my life. In fact, I don't see much of a future for myself. This fact used to scare the shit out of me, but lately I feel indifferent. Now I wonder if it's the medication.In just a few weeks...

My boyfriend had posted this in his blog a long time ago... I just found it yesterday. I decided to steal it because it explains exactly how I feel about him.________A story of love?Love is a force of nature that none of us can control...Awaken, in the morning, the start of any other day. Today you pass a friend, a good friend that you never payed that much attention to. Suddenly you start to...

23 hours and 3 minutes to go until I can finally listen to Alkaline Trio again!Until I can finally update my "Fatally Yours" story!Until I can listen to my Matt Skiba and Kevin Seconds split EP!I didn't think I could go an ENTIRE week without ANYTHING to do with Alkaline Trio... BUT I HAVE SUCCEEDED! Yay!This was the rules I made for myself on the "bet":No Alkaline Trio whatsoeverNo updating my...