A Problem, by me.Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl called me and after many years of thinking of being the only one who thought she was very nice and very funny, she finally met a boy who agreed with her. Or that she tricked into thinking it was true, we're not quite sure on the details.Anyway, these two - me and the boy - were madly, passionately in love. They were the real deal. Great...

It has four months and sixteen days since my beloved and I started going out.It has been four months and nineteen days since I first knew I loved him.It has been four months and seven days since he first told me he loved me.That's right, nine days in, he told me he loved me. Honestly, it was a relief because I kept nearly saying it.However, my supreme happiness has left me wondering - is this...

This is a distraction from actually doing something. I'm a bit stressed out for a few reasons.Reason 1: My mother just called me. Depending on your relationship with your own mothers, possibly you'll be able to understand. I'd been happily playing my ukulele when she phoned and then proceeded to bum me out for over half an hour and making me feel very tense and nervous. Hence now I feel tense and...

I just got home from my local. While I was there, I was told someone had died but I didn't find out until I got back exactly who it was.Anyway, long and short of it is that I knew him and everyone is really sad. I can't really do it justice but I feel pretty terrible because I knew him. He was a face I saw all the time and would chat to.I want to talk to someone but my friend has passed out...

I am probably going to sound like a b*tch here. What a wonderful way to begin a journal.RECOMMENDATIONS1) Alice in Wonderland Soundtrackyou can download it here for £3.79. I should note that this is the Danny Elfman stuff, not the Avril Lavigne/etc one. Highly recommend it though. The Elfman music really made the film for me.2) The Mooghungarian band who won some mtv europe award a few years ago....

What's new then...Firstly, I don't recognise ANY usernames anymore so I clearly have been away for far too long. I'm sure you're all just as lovely and frustrating and ridiculous as the people who were on here a few years ago.Secondly, I don't like control freaks. Figuratively speaking, I am going to club the next person who tells me what to do or behaves moodily for no damn reason. I understand...

Just received a text - "Hey Ellie, Alex from last night. Was that really you I saw just now at the bus stop?"Turns out despite his extensive conversation on monkey brains, instincts and how he doesn't think Kate Moss is attractive, he broke the cardinal rule and forgot what I looked like. He was pretty cute if a little prone to wittering on and not letting anyone else get a word in edgeways....

Weird how mibba is different every time I return. Anyway, we got the call yesterday - Phill wants to know if we want to be live or recorded and we've opted for recorded while we're starting out. It would be safe to say that I am disgustingly excited while at the same not really taking it seriously at all.We're not getting paid - mind you, that's no shocker - and I've never even heard of the radio...

The card was already on the mat when I got home from the recording - BBC debate at the town hall - and honestly I just thought it was my Grandad, as usual. But there was no hidden 'G' which is what he always does and it was signed with a single question mark.The understated message was a sign of taste in spite of the crudeness of the Valentines Day commercialness, blah blah. It just says Valentine...

My housemate just informed me that I am scared of sex. Initially I laughed and claimed that was silly. Then backed down because I realised he's actually totally right. Well, at least a little bit.I don't know what it is. I think ultimately I blame Catholicism. It guilted me out my entire school life. Yet everyone else seemed to just either get on with it and their lives or becames atheists,...

I tell you, searching for a house takes it out of you. It can’t be any old hole, has to be close to water (pubs and shops), have enough nest space (rooms), good fire (kitchen) and, most importantly of all, two bathrooms because five girls certainly can’t share one!!Anyway, the one we found has a whopping FIVE FLOORS!? Ever heard of anything so crazy??? Plus, it’s only costing three hundred...

1) Listen to John Coltrane, Ray Charles and Miles DavisThis is because everyone in my city 'bums' dubstep and I keep on...well, not. Instead I'm going to retrace my jazz steps and go back to where it aaaaaallll began...ha ha2) Send my CV off and get more work at the BBCThis one I already made progress with today as I phoned the lady who first gave me work. She gave me the name of the editor of the...

I am going to be a hermit.This week, I am spending two days at the office, yesterday and today, and then spending from Wednesday up til Sunday writing up two essays, preparing for a close reading of something that I do not have yet and reading over 100 pages of critical essay work.The temptation to get into bed and curl up with Angela Carter is very strong. But next week, from Monday, I get to do...

I feel rotten so instead of going to the three parties and pub for a fire display in the middle somewhere as I was planning to, I have stocked up with goodies - biscuits, garlic bread, crisps (normal and honey barbeque), dough balls, cookies and pepperoni pizza - and have decided to light candles in my sitting room (with the electric ones off obviously...), get some sandle wood burning and watch...

When I say literary hero, I really mean a hero. Someone who you will ALL have heard of. You will know one of his plays for certain - been performed countless times and made into at least one film. One of his novels just got made into a film.Anyway, with the help of twitter and facebook, an old school pal with knowledge and an unsuspecting mutual friend, I have managed to locate his job and old...

This isn't going to make complete sense but I've just been hit round the face so sorry if it's confusing. I live with Maggie, Graham and Jacob. Graham and Maggie were very close friends until Graham got a girlfriend and started spending more time with her. Plus, he apparently belittles Maggie which I think is just teasing but she takes it way too seriously. Last night, she had a really big go at...

For the first time, in a very long time, I stayed home from a party on a Friday night.The main reason was that last Saturday at a friend's birthday party, I got completely knocked down by a guy I know. Name of Ron, now 24, both times I've met him his hands have been all over the place. Anyway, I offered to do a certain thing for him, no need to be specific, just use your imaginations, and he went...

The TV work is coming in, unpaid but I have my second lot which I'm really excited about. The production manager asked for my CV and she's asked me to come in for a whole week this time and work with her in the office!I am psyched about it. I know the BBC is losing money, or something, but I know if I can get good experience then when I finish uni in two years then I'll be more likely to get paid...

This is what I did today.Took penicillin.Got a call from my best friend. I told him I had toncilitus and he asked whether or not I'd grown my own medication? (He finds my dirty room funny.)I read The Mill On The Floss. Not all of it.I watched Frasier.My Mum bought me ice cream to help my throat.I had a bath.I updated two stories.I found my old poems. Then laughed at awful almost all of them were!I...

I was moved just now and compelled to write from the heart of my arse on the matter. Carl once said, of Peter, "there was a time, when I very, very nearly, to be closer to him, started doing full on heroin."Whether or not Carl's words have been manipulated isn't really the point here. That idea of degradation, of swimming around in filth and leaving train tracks on your arms - all that, for...