havewelostjimmy? / Comments

Hello again. I hope that this comment finds you well! I don't know if I ever thanked you for writing Masquerade, so I am doing that now. Thank you, for your absolutely stunning and gorgeous story about my two favorite guys from my absolute favorite band in the whole world. I don't know if you know this, but when I was commenting and reading religiously back when updates were happening more frequently, at that time, your story saved my life and healed my soul. I remember reading it and feeling their emotions and the just pure raw emotion and devotion that went into writing those characters in such a tragic storyline... the things that they went through together, it was just so beautiful and gorgeous and depressing and feeling all of those things at the same time while truly feeling those things due to some personal issues in my own life... all that I needed was that story to remind me how very much alive I was when I felt just so alone and low and empty. The fact that I was able to truly feel those emotions due to some form of medium, it was a huge eye opener for me and Masquerade is one of the things that I dedicate this moment in time to, a moment years later where I am alive and well and HAPPY. I think of that story often, I think of you often, how life has been treating you, and I hope it has been wonderful to you. I was contemplating alot today, feeling very reflective, therefore the reason for posting this comment. Do you ever write anymore? I don't blame you if you don't, life happens and when that interferes your fanfictional world sort of crumbles and disappears. I finally found a happy medium where I can still read fanfic and write fanfic where it doesn't interfere with work or my relationship, I never thought that day would come but it's all balancing really well. I hope that someday you can return to mibba and that I will hear from you soon.

All my love, like always. <3

Lolhey. Nice username.

Do you think you'll ever finish "Masquerade"? It's gorgeous and stunningly beautiful and like nothing else I've ever read.

I'm quite in love with Masquerade and I hope one day it will hurt a little less for you to write it. It hurts for me to read it, but it's so perfect. So even if it takes you forever to finish, I will be waiting. Even if I'm 80 when it's finished, I will be waiting. Because this story and The Dove Keeper are so so beautiful and touching and change the way you think about life. <3 You are an amazing writer. I thought Anorex-a-Gogo was your best but masquerade takes my respect for you as an author (not a smut writer) and person to a who new level. :)

I've come on with the soul purpose of rereading Anorex-a-Gogo. This is Mary Freakshow, by the way.

<3

You've been gone for as long as I have. I sure have missed you, and missed your amazing and incredible story. There is a reason why I went away... and I am sorry, but I had to grow up and live my own life for a moment. I got caught up living in a fantasy world of fanfiction, that I forgot about writing my own life. It's been fantastic. I saw Frank and Gerard and Mikey and Ray on Monday night in Houston, for the 7th time. And while looking for pictures from the show, naturally Frerard popped up and that's what brought me back here. I sure did miss it, especially Masquerade. I went back and reread a few chapters just making sure I didn't miss too much, and fell so deeply in love yet again and was remembered why that story is the most beautiful love story ever written. I was in tears again, I was in love with Frerard again. And oh, did I miss that feeling. I don't blame you for not writing more of that story. Like I told you before, it got so hard to read that story toward the ending because of how real and sad it was getting, it was obvious that the ending was near. I can't imagine how hard it must have gotten for you to write it. I'm here now, and will be here for a long time because I will wait forever for the end of this story. I love the characters and their story so much, it's the way that you write it that has me so hooked and so mesmerized. You are an angel. I miss you. <3

You and I, it's been far too long.

What are you up to these days?

Yea thanks for getting back to me. I ended up finding them, I was apparently blind or something when I first when searching. Go figure.
Thanks anyways. I did reread them...they were just as wonderful the second time around. :)

Hi,
I'm really hoping that I've gotten the right author here because I'm just not positive...there was this story, well two actually, that I can't remember the titles to and I've convinced myself that you were the author.
The first was a break up scene between Gerard and Frank...there was something about a leather coat I think...
The second was about a recorded tape of an interview, that might have actually been the title...it was supposed to be after Frank and Gerard broke up I think...
Anyways, what I'm really hoping is that a) you are the author and b) that you would consider re-posting or at least telling me that I'm crazy.

I could see that happening with me, I guess :] Just out of desperation to make one friend, at least. I'm hoping maybe it will just click in my head when I get there that, hey, everybody is just as terrified as I am so maybe this won't be so bad. Right now, it's just like...starting to think about having to live in the city, and then I think about how lost I'll get, and then I start thinking about being unable to navigate both the city and my social life, if that makes any sense. Idk, I guess I'm just developing this anxiety issue out of nowhere.

Oh, wow, that's cool :] I'd love to be able to have my own place like that an live on my own in a way. That sounds sort of relaxing, just working and living on your own. I can't deal with customers, so I wouldn't be able to have your job, I applaud you for that. My summer's been alright, but I think it's mainly a flurry of worry and trying to figure out how to move out of my bedroom, all of a sudden. I think I've spent most of this summer working and trying to write, which is pretty satisfying to me, outside of the nervousness.

During the first couple of weeks of college, do you think it was hard to figure out a schedule? Or figure out how to manage your workload?

That's exactly what my cousin told me to do, haha :] basically walk around and introduce myself to everyone and anyone no matter how awkward it feels. It'll be hard for me because I'm a natural loser and and am, like...so socially awkward, but I guess I'll have to force myself. SVA is kind of way weirder and more complicated than I expected it to be when I was still in just the beginning stages of applying to colleges. I remember I had to pick out my major when I applied, so going in undeclared wasn't even an option. And I'm not sure if some of their film courses are available to non-film majors, and I'm almost too shy and intimidated to call and ask :c Or maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself, and there probably are a lot of options, I'm just acting like a shy little turtle about exploring them all.

Oh, wow, that is sort of an odd system, but :D Nothing wrong with long summers. Hopefully you're having a good summer?

That makes a lot of sense to me...I actually think that applies to art as well, to a certain extent. I just don't think some parts of creativity, whether it be art or writing (I guess those are also synonymous in a way) can be put in this academic environment and then graded. Everything is so subjective, that's why I had such a hard time accepting con crit from a very stiff Oxford-educated AP English teacher I had all of last year. And why I sometimes even have a harder time accepting critique for my art, especially if something I poured my heart and time into, and some other average kid my age just happens to not like it (as opposed to maybe an art professor who I could take more seriously, but even then, it would still...upset me, maybe). I can definitely see how that would bother you, because it bothered me even before I graduated high school.

I'm hoping to maybe work with screenwriting or directing :] Or at least take a class in the film department even if I'm in a different department. Hopefully SVA is lenient with that kind of stuff because I'd really rather not be restricted to just computer work all four years. I think I have to move into my dorm around the 27th or the 28th? I know I'm going down to the city on the 26th of August, and then we have a week-long orientation, that I think we spend walking around Manhattan, figuring out how to not get lost. That is sort of odd. October seems really late to me. I'm assuming you don't get out of school until July then? Or...maybe not, I'm not sure. Is your tuition any cheaper because you're already a California resident?

It's interesting to me that you're not the first person I've talked to who began with an English-leaning/Creative Writing type of degree, but eventually became uncomfortable with it and changed majors completely. I feel like that degree has an absurd way of changing people's minds about writing completely, rather than adding to their attitude about it in a positive way (which upsets me a lot for some reason) I think you've always been well-read and bright, though, so I can definitely see you in foreign languages :)

I'm going into SVA's Computer Art program, but I guess I have to choose between totally CGI animation and special effects/live action film-related. I'm sort of leaning towards the special effects part just to work in film, because I'd just get a film degree if I wasn't such a coward :|

I've always sort of wondered what it would be like to have a little reunion like that :) Or at least, have a good amount of the older authors come back and maybe try their hand at writing again. I'm sorry that happened to you...It's just so sad how we develop this passion for creative pursuits and the strangest things just tear our inspiration away in the blink of an eye. Or we grow out of it or lose spirit. I guess that's one of the biggest struggles with creativity, though; if everyone is born an artist, the struggle is learning how to stay an artist when he or she grows up. I guess it's just a matter of how much encouragement and passion the person actually has in the end, some just don't have it in them to continue. I do hope the amazing writers on this site continue to write, well into their adulthood and never give up that talent.

On a different note, I was wondering, what are majoring in? I have all these odd questions and worries about college since the end of August keeps getting closer and closer.

You pretty much hit the nail on the head. I definitely get the sense that Mibba has these different sections of kids in their own generations, our generation I think is mainly just going off to college now, maybe even already graduating college. I know I already said I needed to work on a portfolio, I feel sort of bad still, for abandoning this place for a year. There was this period where I just lost all inspiration for writing completely and transferred all that inspiration towards art. And then when I finally came back to this place, I felt like I had taken too long of time away from it, and now everybody's gone anyway. It always gives me such a hard feeling, having to accept moving on when I can still remember how much time and emotion I devoted to this place. It makes me happy that I'm not alone in wanting to come back to old passions, though :)

You pretty much worded it perfectly. I guess it is the end of an era, and I've always had sort of a hard, childish time getting over them. I'm just glad Mibba isn't a ghost town, though, there are still people on here who write well and haven't given up on their works. I sort of want to turn the clock back to when I would write all day, every summer day and talk to everyone and still be active on the forums. It was almost like we had a little community going and now it feels like something our generation is starting to learn to leave behind. I guess I have to accept that some people aren't coming back, and it's sad but it just happens. I think I'm just going to settle in and start re-reading a bunch of older stories, starting with yours.

I'm making my way through Masquerade, I'm on Chapter Dirty Wishes. I needed to take a break and make sure I had enough tissues to continue reading this story. It's one of the best, well written an original fics I've ever read, and trust me I've read a ton. I'm on my 5th day of staying up until 4 am reading this. I applaud you for not sugar coating what is actually happening to Frank. I know he is going to die, my eyes sting when I wrote that, but it's the truth. I'm just glad I get to read this amazing love story between the two. You write it so will that the characters are real to me. I've read about 6 epic fics, that deserve to be published and you have wrote one of them. I'm sorry this kind of a rambling mess, but your the reason I'm sleep deprived and I wouldn't have it any other way.

God, I remember when I flew out with just my dad to go visit that college, and we drove into San Francisco for the day, and walked around the wharf. I managed to get non-foggy pictures of the bridge for the first time ever, I was so satisfied :) It just seems so cozy and wonderful and fun.

I just miss talking to everyone so much. It seems like a lot of people have just up and left, or grown out of writing or something. And it sort of saddens me, and makes me feel sort of lonely, but I guess things do have to progress and change. I'm just glad to see some of my favorite authors are still on here and are still putting life into their stories :)

Oh god, I know that feeling. Well, inverted, I suppose. I get sick of the cold weather in the Northeast again and again every year, and sometimes it just makes me want to consider trying to look for work in California after college. I was so close to going to that school in Sunnyvale, but I think the cost of flying me all the way from New Jersey and back multiple times in a school year might have just racked up costs :c The three or four times I've been to San Francisco though, those actually made my decision to not go to California pretty hard since it's such a tempting, beautiful city. I've always loved NYC, though, so i guess it's sort of still surreal for me that I'm actually going there, even if I hate winter c:

Oh man c:! That made me smile so much. I know I'm so repetitive, but I'm just so glad to see you writing again and I'm really happy that we're talking again, to be perfectly honest.

I'm actually pretty jealous of you getting to not only live in California but study there too. I visited a school in Sunnyvale (In Silicon Valley I think?) And I applied to Otis Art and Design. I love California but I think SVA stole my heart. Yeah, it's kind of strange, I fell out of the desire to write too for a fairly long while, even after I finished my portfolio. I think I'm almost forcing myself at this point to write because I feel almost...guilty for turning my back on it for a year, if that makes any sense? And City Lights I think is on my top priority list for this summer. I'm just glad to see we're sort of returning to writing (or at least attempting to) at the same time :) I feel such an obligation to finish what I started even if I technically started it years ago. I really hope you can find that drive to write again, because you have such a talent for realistic characters and emotion that I envy.