Beautiful Loser / Comments

Thanks for the story comment, I'll try to bust out a chapter as soon as I can. =)

ha.. mormowned.
i actually hadn't seen that, but it's pretty damn funny.

so...
argh... your whole thing with your bf is confusing me..
is it you have one of those monstrous inferiority complexes, so you [i]think[/i] he's took good for you?

dammit.
forgot what i was gonna say...
*needs more coffee*

gah, when mibba glitches and decides NO you're NOT gonna post a comment you just wasted 20 mins writing, yeah.
that sucks.

yeah.. the white picket fence and 2 point whatever kids doesn't seem all that appealing anymore. when i was LITTLE i used to tink about getting-

THINK!
I want to murder my H key.

-married in a big beautiful church, to a living ken doll and then living in a big pink mansion.

then i renounced religion (having a destination wedding to the bahamas and only inviting a select few sounds so much... i dunno. better?), figured out Ken wasn't real (or that pretty, even) and that i'd rather live in a normal house.

but yeah.

the future is still a question mark.

you let your ten year old cousin put you in a headlock?
*palmface*

my eye does it when i drink too much coffee, or if i get ridiculously stressed.
haha, halfway through a test then your eye falls onto the paper.

"Hey Prof? I think i need some tape."

touching people just never felt right to me... so only like, compulsory touching is what i do, really.
huggy people need to get shot in the head with a rifle.
they can't hug you if their brain is all over the wall, now CAN THEY?

yeah.. i'd guess bfs usually like to feel loved too... but yeah...
have you explained to him that you're not a very touch-liking (for lack of a better term) person and he persists anyway?

and honestly, i dunno what to say about you breaking up w/ mic.
if you really feel that you and him aren't as close as you once were and it sucks then...
do what you have to. *shrug*

i dunno, i'm kinda destined to be single...

even though i've lied many i time to people, saying that i'm a party girl, i've been with a few hot guys, yah-dah,yah-dah, YAH.

lying is never a smart idea... then it's too easy to forget the huge tail you spun..
i'm afraid to get drunk around these people... because i'm a little bit of a brutally honest drunk and i'd tell them all of the details of my pathetic life...

*pity parade comes marching through, playing a melancholy tune*

[i]Ugh, I dunno things are odd, like a record thats stuck and playing the same thing over, and you cant get it to move on, so you end up beating the shit outta the player until everything breaks.
And then you're royally fucked.[/i]

great metaphor.

just had to point that out.

i'm pasty as fuck, but i go tanning at this place down the street from my house every few weeks in the off-season so i don't get too dead-looking.
andandand...even if red looked horrid, i'd still have to wear it.
red is the best colour ever!

:)

what's your favourite colour?[/random]

haha...
[i]the puberty truck.[/i]
i love it.
yeah... i first got pimples when i was EIGHT.
then it got progressively worse until the sides of my face started to look like new scar tissue from burns...
BUT... i dunno, wearing a plastic bag over my head should do the trick, as my WONDERFUL father likes to say...

death by suffocation would be embarrassing. even though, yes, you're dead, therefore you can't KNOW who finds you- *yells at self* STOP FUCKING RAMBLING. (sorry...)
because then whoever finds you gets to see that you shit yourself... such a nice sight for one to witness, right?

"can i borrow your--- OMFG EW!"

ignore the weird thoughts, they'll eventually go away.

there's the Belfast inbred look?
creepy.
like a certain asshole i know who apparently got wasted one night and fucked him hot cousin... (that's only legal in Utah. seriously... the majority is square-faced Mormons)

and society is just fucked up beyond belief. that and you DO look older than 17. but not old enough to have a three year old kid, really.

on stage? like... what? an awesome rocker chick or somethin?

(and i have a shitty memory too, i just open a new tab in the internet to go to the many-topicked comment and then go to the person's page and switch back & forth til it's all written.)

:)

i's feels dumbsies.
and dumbsies should SO be a word.

haha, good ting you put on shoes!

thing...
wth is with my H key...
or is my my fingers?

gah. i got ready this morning and got outside early, then halfway down the steps, my dad opened his window and yelled to me that school was delayed.
YAY FOR ICE RAIN
... still slipped down the steps though.

haha, with me, i just have really intense bursts of depression to the point where at THIS point, i've almost killed myself twice, so imma guess i'll be dead by either 20 or 21...
25 is the less sadistic estimate.

Aria made me PROMISE i'll at least wait until i'm out of high school before i kill myself, but has made it very clear she doesn't want to bury her best friend.

she's the only person who'd really miss me though... i mean, MOST of my friends are aquain-

FUCKING HELL MY EYE IS TWITCHING

-tences because i share the fear of getting close to people.
i can't even TOUCH people...
or have them like.. tap my shoulder.

i curl into a ball. it's apparently funny as hell.
ari likes to go "Look! if you poke her with a stick hard enough, she SQUEAKS!"

*rolls eyes*

awh, i'm sorry about your relationship not going well. *offers hug, because you're awesome and deserve it*

haha, omfg.
i was the cutest kid EVER because i had fluffy blonde hair and bunny-rabbit bucked front teeth, so anyone who saw me up to the age of nine was always like AW!

then i got braces, gained like... a fuckload of wait and cut my hair once it turned brown and everyone stopped going AW.

that and the whole... cystic acne getting so bad i had to go to a dermatologist... yeah...

i'm on pills for the acne though that whack me out MORE, but it does clear everyting up as long as i can stand to take it for a few days... i just can't sleep more than two hours.

EVERYTHING
fucking H key...

*stares at H key, stabs it*

i wanna bf... but at the same time... i'd make him miserable w/ my miserable-ness and then we'd fight and...

well, you know how in Hallelujah, Cady and Matt fight all the time?
that'd be me and him.
and of course there would be no Brian... because...
well, come ON... made up characters are cool for a reason.

oops... i rambled.

people with flawless skin need to DIEDIEDIE.
*hands you flamethrower*
you can burn all those pretty people on your continent and i'll do mine!
or we could throw acid in their faces...
^.^

there's a diff age for sex and gay sex?
odd...
everything here is 18, except driving, which is a lovely 16, if your parents are nice. and the legistlation in the states are changing again, so the policy will prolly get changed AGAIN...

anywho...
i have to slip down the steps again and go to hell... or school... yeah, school now.

and try not to spill any more coffee if you can help it.
burns are bad, mkay?
:P

xx

dammit, i keep getting confused and thinking that i already commented people.

my brain went ...you know when you add too much soda to a glass and the foam spills everywhere?
yeah.
it did that.

THANK YOU, TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF HOMEWORK AND THE REALIZATION I HAVE TO WAKE UP IN FOUR HOURS.

...
i'm going so CRAZY right now i prolly shouldn't be commenting.
like... i wanna do my hysterical laugh (that sounds more like a sob) till my hair falls out...
or kick a hole in my wall...
or.


GWAH.

and now the crazy is gone.
for a while at least... though i'm not saying i won't go crazy during shop tomorrow and kill a few people.

just maim, i think.

what's the drinking age in Ireland?
i've been wondering but kept forgetting to ask. [/random dumb question]

Val Dibenedetto makes me feel very, very ugly.


random truth moment over,
you have a point w/ the whole, only having a it longer before you're set free and shit.
YEAH! then we can go about fucking up our own lives!
haha, i'll prolly not make it past 25...
morbid, but when do you think you'll die?

ah, the evil smart kitty...
like my brother's cat, which stole al his christmas figurines until AFTER christmas, then like.. three of them showed up on the floor of the lving room.

it's diabolical, but so damn cute, that cat is.

HAHAHAHA
at headbutting in the balls... i did that once to this guy... but on purpose...
he cried. ^.^

eugh.. fighting w/ rents sucks on so many levels.
my rents usually choose the route of mutual dislike though, so we just don't talk unless we have to...

and ...
ah SHIT...
i gotta go clean...

BYEEEEEE
*super sad face*

haha, the dress was starting to fall down though..
my boobs wouldn't hold it up... damn things worked against me. :( maybe my mom wasn't being a btich when she asked if i needed double-sided tape...
and i have NOOO idea how i looked so nice in that picture. in the others i looked like a slob.. a half-lidded slob. with a beer in her hand.

yeah.. i'll prolly lose my ID soon enough. my room will eat it. JUST LIKE IT ATE MY HEADPHONES.

he was a drunk god, but a god nonetheless.
my friend had to whack me in the side of the head to keep me from staring too long at him.

in the cities here, sometimes there'll be curfews that everyone under a certain age needs to be home by around eleven to cut down on shit like gang violence. getting shot in the head is baddd.

eugh, i can't STAND drinking with my cousins. they bitch about stupid shit when they're drunk so it's just like AHH STFU.
my mom never notices when i get hangovers. half because she's working most of time, half because i'm the queen of headache pills and keep a full bottle in my room..
though she did notice one time when i came out of my room with sunglasses on...

and you changed your username.
... you're not a loser, btw.

and... curfews? like parent curfews or like... law curfews?

for an early xmas gift, my bro managed to get me fake ID. i'd already paid for the concert tickets and was going w/ two of my almost best (aria didn't come. her parents are TYRANTS, i tell you. TYRANTS!) friends and this older girl (she was like... 19 or something)

we went to the show, but we decided to go drinking after. so we went to a bar close by to the venue (it's name was... Seven... or the Nine... some number... but i dunno, i was pretty drunk. *shrug*) and about half an hour into the whole OMG WE'RE UNDERAGE AND DRINKING!!! thing, i look over towards the pool tables and...

yeah.
i saw Zacky and Brian playing pool.

then it turned to OMFG AHHHHHH.
well.. in my head at least.
so me and my friends walk over all coy and I ask if we can play the game in turns. they agree and i find myself staring unblinkingly at Brian for a few seconds.

DAMN he is pretty in person.

then we play, i continue drinking and shit, finally bump into Matt toward the end of the night and the older girl in the group takes a picture of us. haha, he was DRUNK.
it was funny. but i was too, so i was prolly giggling like an idiot and falling over in my heels.

i'll send you the picture of Brian i got in a message, which i very cleverly cropped myself out of because i'm an ugly bitch. :P

and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

haha, thanks for the picture comment.
what's even funnier, in the sad way, i doubt t
oh fuck.. my r key came off againrrrrr
rrrrrrrrr44rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I DID IT.

okay, were was i?
oh.
what's sad is that i doubt any of them would remember me. though i think Syn was a little less wasted then all the rest, it's funny cause his eyes were only half-open in the picture, and mine weren't open at all. smiling like an idiot though. AND i got to hug him.

but the matt one seemed funnier.
he's like I'M POINTING.

and i don't know if i responded to your last comment (i might have just THOUGHT about it... sorry)
so ah...

HI!

*hug*

ha.
life is...
mildly okay.

it's hard to judge.
i'm re-writing an OLD story of mine to see if i can actually get it to be bought by a publishing company, but i'm only a few chapters in and it's daunting.

just got over probably the worst virus in existence, which gave me an entire week to think over my life. my new years resolutions are to:
-lose enough weight to pursue commercial print modeling by summer (even though my mother thinks the word "model" is synonymous to "prostitute")
-stop caring what people in general think about me (never gonna happen)
-stop lying to myself

the last is the biggest. this is the reason i'm going to quit track.
i've lied to myself for two... no, three years about how much i love running. i don't. i liked the punishment of it, as well as the friends that came along with being on a team with like interests. so i decided it was fucking stupid to waste my time and the coach's time. even if he's a fucking asshole who wants to kick me off anyway. "because i'm missing too much time" uh, i couldn't get the fuck out of bed, much less run four miles a day. so i'm going to turn in my uniform the day holidays are over.

"Coach-
I'm quitting for good.
You're welcome."

funny.
i'm not sad.
it's a relief. i don't have to pretend anymore.

now i can just concentrate on not drowning in missed work (i had to take THREE exams i hadn't known about. yay for a fucked school system.)

i'm going to add in a lost chapter to Hallelujah soon.
called "Back of my Hand" (song by... ahm... *checks iTunes* Gemma Hayes.. yeah)
it'll be another flashback, because there are a LOT of those toward the end of this story.
it's about jealousy. because i've been very jealous of people lately.
hell, it goes from seeing a couple smile (my crush, whom i've given up on at last [i](or am trying to... it's difficult to stop caring about him after a year...)[/i] because he's gotten a new chick. a young one at that. the sad thing is she's so nice you can;t help but want to be her friend.) at each other, best friends laughing in a mall, those gorgeous people in magazines who are too perfect to be real, a writer who can instill the perfect picture in ones' mind. it's the jealousy that eats one from the inside. the childish envy...

so i'll try to write it all away.
haha, works for everything else.

















now, before i talk about myself too much and have your head explode, how have YOU been?
no longer ill, i hope.

hullo.
happy belated christmas.

yeah, the skull is from a movie and the design around it i drew myself, yay, lol, well the guy at the tattoo shop did two modifications on it that i decided to keep, i want more tho, just have to think about what i want, i dont want something that im not sure about, yup, just wait, not like you have ages til you turn 18, in the mean time you could think about what to get, and my friend had a pretty good bat tattoo idea, but it was on his wrist, it was like a flock of bats that he did that were similar to a7x, but he never got it, i think of all my friends i was the one that actually got one, lol, im thinking about a spider on my other arm, i already did a design but im not sure if i should get it just yet

nice, i wouldnt mind getting some piercings too, on my tongue and maybe face, lol, i like tattoos too, i already have two of them but i want to get more, one of them is noticeable in one of my pics and the other one is on my back, yup, i want to get more tho, i like tribal, what kind of tattoos do you like

lol, yes spite is good, thats kool, i have friends whit their ears pierced too, the hole is pretty big but i dont know what size they use, the only piercing ive ever had was on my tongue and i dont have it anymore, kind of miss it tho, it was pretty kool

yeah, math was my best subject but i forgot a lot of stuff, lol, damn me and my forgetfulness, if i took refresher cources i could totally own this class but i dont want too, so im gonna stick it out, i think i might be able to pass the class if i do good on my final, yay, so what size plugs do you use?

well you never know, ive known some small people with strong character that makes you back the hell up, lol, well im taking four classes right now, well three but one is in two parts, one engineering class and then im also taking a math class and a writting class, which i will probably only pass those two, if i study the rest of the semester, so im hoping i pass, lol, i have off tomorrow so i can stay up late cuz i dont have to wake up in the morning, yay, lol

Thank you! My sister got me it for my birthday, you can get them at either Spencer or Hot Topic!

lol, ill eventually go, if it gets really bad, and you must be really scary in order for me to let you drag me all the way to the doctors, lol, but i dont really have the time and its not that bad, well not yet and hopefully it wont, and its not so much that the education system is complicated, for me is that i took a five year break from high school to college that i forgot lots of things, that is why im having a hard time keeping up, lots of diferent changes that i need to keep up with, so how your school system over there