*****A note to my readers: My journals are strictly me clearing my head. I write down whatever I feel, whatever comes to mind, goes on paper. I am not asking for your advice, though I will not turn away from it. I am not asking for feedback, though I sometimes am curious as to what you think*****Is this how I am supposed to be living? Am I really this alone? Let myself drift as far away from...

I’m severely bored. So I started to make a list about me…think is what I came up with:1. I love horses (Duh…)2. I think Chocolate is yummy3. I have a black cat named Tiki4. My dog is a wimp5. Hiking is fun6. I hate snow7. I’d rather be really hot, than really cold8. Rain is fun to listen to9. I fall asleep faster if its storming outside (thunder, lightning)10. If I’m sad/angry I put on...

I have no clue why I’m writing this…I feel like I’m in a slump right now. This journal is basically pointless. I have some weird frame of mind that when I type/write something down to confirm it I feel somehow better.So…I’m feeling really…really…well…broke/poor. Which I know isn’t entirely true. I’m just frustrated I guess. I just bought a new saddle, which will be spending the...

I really just don’t know what to think anymore…it is so hard…not being able to just reach out and have someone there to comfort me as I cry my eyes out. I’m talking about school….my school life sucks…people that I thought were my friends have turned on me or ditched me for someone else. It so hard to hold back the tears when everyone is in their little ‘groups’ and I am sitting...

The way I look on the outside is greatly different from what I am hiding on the inside. I may look happy on the outside, I may smile, I may laugh. But inside I’m breaking apart, piece by piece. Most of my time I spend by myself, blankly staring into the air as if waiting for something to happen, for someone to say ‘Hello’ or ‘What’s up?’ but nothing ever happens. I have no close...

Horses, they are all I can think about. I have to try and focus on the task at hand, for my mind is constantly spinning with thoughts of better training ideas, and other horse-related ideas.A long time ago I had a horse, his name was Spike. He was the love of my life and my best friend. When I was sad, he was always willing to listen. When I was happy, he was still willing to listen to my storied...

They all smile at me through their teeth. They say hello, just to be nice. They brush me off, because they don’t like me. The world doesn’t care. Everywhere you see people saying “Be yourself and you’ll be found by those who are like you” I have always tried to be myself. Once I had become someone I wasn’t, it felt good for a while, I was liked, and I fit in. But the truth was I...