xTheShadowBesideYoux
- Name
- xTheShadowBesideYoux
- Age
- 31
- Gender
- Male
- Location
- United States
- Joined date
- October 10th, 2008
About
When it comes to me, "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it. I've caused too much pain and hurt to tell someone that means so much to me "I'm sorry."
Everyone makes mistakes in life. Most people face-palm and say, "I didn't ask for this." For most of those people, they may not have asked for something to happen, but the lesson they learn is one of the greatest gifts.
In my opinion, the mistakes and hurts I've made were for the best, and done to make me happy...but ONE in particular haunts me to this fucking day. I can't even look in a certain direction each day without being reminded of the look on her face that day. Not the rage or disgust, but the thought of me showing her someone could USE another person like that.
It is 2:34am and this is what's on my mind: The mistakes I made includes degrading someone in the worst way possible; taking a beautiful friendship that some would die for, making promises and actually saying "I Love You", then crushing it into millions of tiny little pieces. This is because I'm a cowardly bastard who doesn't care about another soul on Earth besides my own. Then- theres more - asking their BEST FRIEND to be my girlfriend.
As of now she makes every attempt to make it seem like i don't exist. The last time i remember her truly looking at me, was that day on the sidewalk when i crushed her. That image is burnt into my brain. Also now, one of the worst feelings is THINKING that you know how bad you've hurt them, and THINKING that "oh it'lll just take time to calm down." But that's the next big mistake: NOT realizing that you will NEVER know how that feels unless the same exact thing happened to you.
The lesson I've learned through all of this is that friendship and companionship are truly very fragile, and one should make every attempt to show that they TRULY care about another individual. What i did is beyond unacceptable and stupid. It's the worst insult and spit in the face that anyone could do upon to another.
That's why, for me, sorry doesn't cut it. I don't go a single day without thinking about it. All that I have said this entire thing doesn't do a thing but express how i feel about it. A true, sincere apology would take forever, but what i can say is that: Hurting, disrespecting, degrading, using, destroying, and everything that i did to you, you did not deserve at all. When i think about it, i feel so disgusting and i wanna look in the mirror and scream you fucking asshole with no feelings. I miss the teasing, I miss the constant laughing, I miss how you were constantly a smart ass who out witted me, I miss the amazing feeling of walking into 1st and 3rd period thinking it'll be okay because we're gonna make it okay, but most of all, I miss my friend. Words cannot explain how badly it haunts me every day thinking about losing that friendship, then shoving it in your face with your best friend. I am truly and sincerely sorry and nothing could make up for all I did. If i didn't cause all of this, we would most likely be talking right now, and you making fun of my HORRIBLE spelling and grammar. I miss that more than anything and i hope you read this.
Everyone makes mistakes in life. Most people face-palm and say, "I didn't ask for this." For most of those people, they may not have asked for something to happen, but the lesson they learn is one of the greatest gifts.
In my opinion, the mistakes and hurts I've made were for the best, and done to make me happy...but ONE in particular haunts me to this fucking day. I can't even look in a certain direction each day without being reminded of the look on her face that day. Not the rage or disgust, but the thought of me showing her someone could USE another person like that.
It is 2:34am and this is what's on my mind: The mistakes I made includes degrading someone in the worst way possible; taking a beautiful friendship that some would die for, making promises and actually saying "I Love You", then crushing it into millions of tiny little pieces. This is because I'm a cowardly bastard who doesn't care about another soul on Earth besides my own. Then- theres more - asking their BEST FRIEND to be my girlfriend.
As of now she makes every attempt to make it seem like i don't exist. The last time i remember her truly looking at me, was that day on the sidewalk when i crushed her. That image is burnt into my brain. Also now, one of the worst feelings is THINKING that you know how bad you've hurt them, and THINKING that "oh it'lll just take time to calm down." But that's the next big mistake: NOT realizing that you will NEVER know how that feels unless the same exact thing happened to you.
The lesson I've learned through all of this is that friendship and companionship are truly very fragile, and one should make every attempt to show that they TRULY care about another individual. What i did is beyond unacceptable and stupid. It's the worst insult and spit in the face that anyone could do upon to another.
That's why, for me, sorry doesn't cut it. I don't go a single day without thinking about it. All that I have said this entire thing doesn't do a thing but express how i feel about it. A true, sincere apology would take forever, but what i can say is that: Hurting, disrespecting, degrading, using, destroying, and everything that i did to you, you did not deserve at all. When i think about it, i feel so disgusting and i wanna look in the mirror and scream you fucking asshole with no feelings. I miss the teasing, I miss the constant laughing, I miss how you were constantly a smart ass who out witted me, I miss the amazing feeling of walking into 1st and 3rd period thinking it'll be okay because we're gonna make it okay, but most of all, I miss my friend. Words cannot explain how badly it haunts me every day thinking about losing that friendship, then shoving it in your face with your best friend. I am truly and sincerely sorry and nothing could make up for all I did. If i didn't cause all of this, we would most likely be talking right now, and you making fun of my HORRIBLE spelling and grammar. I miss that more than anything and i hope you read this.
