Man, things have been pretty crappy lately. I really need a pick me up, and this would make my week so much better if I fond out I was eligible to actually receive some free makeup since a lot of mine were water damaged from a leak in the window. Hurricane Sandy was a real bitch with all of that rain and wind that she brought in and spit all over the east coast. Well, at least this isn't the...

Have you ever been in contact with someone that is really and truly one of the most useless creatures on teh face of the planet?Of course, this seems an awfully cruel way to start off a journal; I apologize for any misconceptions you are about to have about me. But I digress. I myself have recently come into the misfortune of being with one of the biggest piles of shit on the face of the planet.To...

I couldn't stop biting my lip.It was an awful reaction; and awful habit I'd cultivated to deal with my anxiety, other than smoking. I should stop, my lip was already chapped and peeling. How many more times would I nervously apply another coat of lip gloss? It was all I could taste except for, well the imminent sorrow I'd be facing by the end of the day. I again pulled at my lower lip between my...

June 10, 2009The second kiss was nothing like the first. Because this time I was frightened, and there certainly wasn't any hesitation.Gabe was such a dork sometimes. It was his birthday that night and, incidentally movie night at the same time.We play-fought about everything and this time he'd curled himself under the blankets. I'd sighed and shaken my head, burrowing down to find him. When I...

Gabe is still driving me nuts I thought, as he turned his head into the side of my shoulder and twitched his fingers under my own. Absently, i began brushing them as I knew he liked, using my other hand to pull my fingers through his messy golden-brown hair. Like a content child, he closed his eyes and pulled in a deep breath.It was this contact, touching that had once been effortless that was now...

The feeling that washed over me was indescribable. I only had one word for it.I mulled over it as I ran my fingers through his light brown hair. I kept up a constant pattern; running my fingers through his hair and trailing softly down his pale cheek, the one that was exposed. The other side of his face was resting gently against my chest. Gabe's eyes were closed peacefully, almost as if he could...

This is nothing what I thought it'd be, I thought as I pressed my lips to his for the first time. Alien. Odd and unknown. The feeling was astonishing with the barrage of different emotions that were threatening to make me split apart in my shaking.I let them lay there, my lips, motionless for a moment and taking in this new feeling with incredulity. Old memories echoed faintly in my head then,...

I don't know sometimes.Things just either bounce off me and remain on this outter skin like someone sort of short delayed venom. I can't cry, I can't think, I can't even feel upset. It just sits there, dormant and waiting. Waiting for me to feel again, past this stupid numb shell I always walk myself into. And I can't stand it.I want to feel. I don't care if I'm left screaming at the end of it...