I'm afraid of who I've become.Because she doesn't want me to change.She's cynical, she's mean....She's so persuasive.She knows what I'm afraid of.So she becomes what I fear.She stands for everything I hate about myself.She stands as a container holding nothing but my insecurities.She does it so well.As if that is the only reason why she exists.She looks like me.She sounds like me.And she wont let...

Now, don't get me wrong.There's nothing better than celebrating life.As human beings, we are meant to feel and affect othersThats why we changeThats why we are called evolutionaryBut I feel that people use the idea of marriage in order to escape the other hardships of a relationship or to be accepted by societyI'm 18, but if I was suddenly impregnanted, I would be forced to marry the guy who I...

I know it might be waaayyy too early for new years resolutions... But-- truth of the matter is, no one's going to really read this, anyway.And if you do-- thank you, very very very much. Go check out my other journals, though ;)Things I want to accomplish: (within at least the next four months.)1. Get my license.2. Save up for a car and possibly finally own one and pay it off myself.3. Reach FSM...

Have you ever had that one awkward moment where a very good looking person is checking you out and the look on his/her face narrates the idea that they want to physically attack you?It happens to be given only when people are greatly caught in a lustful hunger.I'm not going to lie-- there's a part of me that has always wanted to make a man feel that way.I just really didn't think I ever would in...

There are many instances in my life when I've realized that people have disappeared and new ones have fabricated themselves into their position. I didn't really care-- what the hell-- i mean, who were they to deserve a permnant spot in my life. People change because we are not meant to stay the same, and naturally, our paths will also alter.Usually, I'd be happy for those people-- it means that...

So....you want me to tone it down for you boss? Well... okay.I really should have said that.But I didn't.I don't know why I'm so passive in conversations these days.It doesn't make any sense.I have all these ideas and remarks in my head...floating around...I might as well use them.They're not helping me out.They should help someone else, at least.So, I was watching this commercial about cancer...

I've realized something.Human beings aren't meant to stay the same. In fact, we are meant to be evolutionary.We are always adapting.We have the mental capacity, and physical capacity.Yet-- why are we so afraid to let ourselves be just that?Greatly human.That's just the point-- we're afraid of greatness because that is when we are truly mentally and physically ready to leave this world-- it's when...

You know what I don't understand?Guys who are dorkier than I am.I must admit...I'm a bit jealous.All guys have to do is look good, and BOOM-- Confidence.But, when a guy is dorky...thats like...fuckinggaaah! GODAAAMNNNNNN SEXY BEASTS.I'm screwed.And still very jealous.I don't know though-- I've kinda realized that my personality changes a whole lot.No, I'm not bi-polar.Its just weird... gaah. I...

Could one have enough confidence, yet still be human?Because I truly believe that the meaning of beauty comes from fully accepting your flaws and weaknesses.I just don't understand where insecurities come from.They just happen to be an idea, that fester, and grow,until the whole concept engulfs your mind and train of thought."Why's he looking at me like that? Oh my god, he's seriously looking at...

Because human beings aren't meant to stay the sameBecause life wouldn't have meaning without itBecause it can connect us even through deathBecause it is the very core of religionBecause I know I deserve more than just the ideaBecause I know that, even though it might hurt sometimes, theres beauty in every tearBecause I know that giving up before trying isn't really trying at allBecause I know I'm...

Well, I needed to gush over how amazing this new guy is-- so, I apologize beforehand.So, well-- he was wearing red.I think red on a guy is just...insanely sexy.And gray.Gray= droooooool.But anyway--i finally like a guy.And I'm actually okay with liking him.And, the fact that I might not ever see him again-- is probably the reason why I'm not talking myself out of liking him.And even if I do see...

....Cuz, I'm too busy making bank.Booyah.I like being able to say that.Damn.I think my boss is getting to me.He's insanely obnoxious, arrogant, and competitive.And, I'm pretty much the complete opposite.In fact, I'm not a go getter at all.Unless I knew my actions would benefit someone else.In other words...I'm just a pathological rescuer.I don't necessarily know when it started.I just know that...

So, I happen to call my boss today to ask him a question, and thats something I rarely do-- seriously. I'd really rather not call my boss because he speaks way too fast for me to comprehend-- but this is how the conversation unfolded:Me: Hey, Boss--- is this a bad time?Boss: Oh no. You called at the perfect time. I just finished training. I've been unavailable for the past three days-- but now I'm...

And, I don't necessarily know why I keep writing these things... no one pays attention much, anyway.But maybe, that's just why.Thats why I love mibba-- you get to be yourself without anyone caring.But, what's been troubling my mind is this-- I got invited to a cool ass business meeting in san diego.I'm s0o0o happy for myself...but a part of me does not think I deserve it.And, I have no idea why I...

There's gotta be something wrong with me.You see-- Selling knives-- I'm really not doing it for the money, I'm doing it for the challenge.The idea that I NEED to convince someone that their knives are crappy, and that they need to buy a full set right now before the world ends, seems kinda cool-- partly because of the fact that I just secretly like controlling people.But now I'm just insanely...

But I'll tell you stuff about me anyway...seeing as how I can't get any more bored than this.1. I really like rice pudding. I spent one whole summer just eating it.2. I like to think I'm a badass.3. Edgar Allen Poe is basically one of my favorite authors.4. I didn't know how to tie my shoes till the first grade.5. I was born pigeon toe'd-- but on one foot.6. I wore a leg brace for the first couple...

I'm usually cool with anyone I meet-- and Well, I guess you'll just have to see me in action.So seriously....contact me! :)Thoughts today has brought me to:-I've heard about this idea-- "ghost writing"-- how people who have ideas, but cannot necessarily write them down, hire other people to write the actual story...I gotta say-- that seems like an appealing job, if you ask me. I mean-- all you got...

College that is...I get all this crap about how whatever I do right now will affect me for the rest of my life-- and how from this day forward, my life finally starts...to tell you the truth, it's all a bunch of crap.Everyone in the world makes it seem like I need a million dollars to go to college.Screw that! Honestly-- money will always, without a doubt, be a problem. Might as well just let the...

I have this epic idea for a motion picture, however, when I write scripts I usually write it in prose before actually turning it into a script.The process seems to help me create a better, more thought out, plotline.However... this is probably the most complex storyline I have ever fabricated. What I need from you, and thank you in advance, is the idea to tie this whole story together.Without...

Yes-- i said it.I'm in the mood to find some really sexy guy and let him kiss me.I don't care if you think I'm a slut for saying this--- it's the truth.But what I care about is what you think my definition of sexy is.In psyche, we did this exercise and one of the questions were "Agree or Disagree: If a female is dressed sexy, she is automatically calling for negative attention."I said I...