Not knowing how to start something seems to be a problem i am facing a lot lately. Even in the most simple things as the "about me" of a website. I am trying my best to translate what is going on in my head into words. It is not the easiest task for me right now. I think I am at least going to attempt to say something about myself, instead of trying to explain everything else that I am thinking about at the moment.
Hi. I'm Vanessa.
I am the youngest of six, and I seem like the only one with a true sense of not knowing my place in this world. I do not know the reasoning behind why I am here. I am far from sheltered, and hardly over-protected. The things I choose to do are of my own accord, and that might not be a good thing. I am only human of course, though that is not an eccuse. I have thought myself many things, and it only now made complete sense to me that I am not to understand who I am just yet. I am still learning this, and although it may seem difficult for me at times, it is still good for me. It shows that I am still learning.
Through all this confusion, there are few things that I do love about myself, my imagination. It is something that I understand completely, and know how to use to my advantage through writing and little art i might try. It is not capable of being rational though, when it needs to be, as some will say. I love it though, and in times when I need to escape from other people, laying back and imagining other things while listening to the soft backround music I always have, always helps.
I attempt to live my life for the people in it that love me. I am no longer bothering with those who are there to hurt me, they only waste my time. At 15 people say that I should just be going through friends, and just doing what every other normal teenage girl should. I choose to do differently, because I do not want to be another normal teenage girl. I wish to complete the goals I set for myself and not live like the rest of the mass population of people my age. I have a great sense of feeling towards myself now, that I like sharing with the people I love. It is something I wish to share with a person I feel will help me figure out my place in this world.