It's Thursday night and I'm drowning.It's easy to pretend my internal struggle runs as deep as insecurity and loneliness. It's easy when I'm not home.The world and my family and my hatred swallow me whole. I'm insignificant in the greatest sense of the word.I want to be enough to make my mom happy- but I'm not. I'm proud of her and I love her and she's always been enough. I love her so much. I...

It's three in the morning on a Tuesday. I don't have to go to lecture until two, so I'm not worried about sleep. But I'm just nervous for... everything. Finding a job. Renting an apartment. Choosing the right major. I just have to take a step back. I like that the envelopes that I bought from that craft store are labeled as "curry." I have to send that letter I wrote to the author of my favorite...

I went on Quizilla looking for a quality book to read. The only one I can find that’s completed is so- I don’t know how to describe it. She gets attacked, falls in love, and devotes her life to this stranger of a vampire in the first two chapters. I don’t understand. They haven’t even known each other for a day. Though, I suppose it’s better than the one entitled “My Teacher is a...

I really want to get into pajama pants and curl up on my couch in a big blanket with a cup of tea. I want to watch the movie "Penelope." I want a full tank of gas in my car, with an iPod hook-up. I want to blast the song "Time to Pretend" by MGMT, "We Found Love" by Rhianna, and "We Are Young" by Fun. until my speakers blow. I want to be at a cute coffee shop with my fingers wrapped around a Chai...

I remember a lot of small things. The kind of things that at the time, you don't think you'll remember.I remember the first time that I painted my finger nails. The polish was all over my skin. The wooden patio that used to be behind my cousins' dining room had a wooden picnic bench. It was a hot summer day. My aunt was serving celery with peanut butter wedged into the curve of it. I think I...

My friend found two baby kittens in his boat the other day! One was a girl with tan spots and the other was a boy with gray spots. They didn't know where to have them sleep, so I offered my house for a night. I named the little girl kitten Marnie, after the character from Halloween Town. Anyways I ended up having her for three days. I had to give her back though because my mom's husband said I...

I have a bad habit of taking up insomnia over the summer. It's three in the morning so I honestly don't expect many people -if anyone- to read this, but somehow I feel like I need to write down my thoughts anyways.My room being the messiest in the house and in the basement, is a magnet for pincher bugs. It's gotten the best of me, so I decided to sleep upstairs in the living room (where I'm typing...

My all time favorite unpublished internet author goes by the name of Randy; I'm fairly sure her actual name is Margaret, though. Back in 2008 when I wasn't familiar with Mibba or Wattpad, I would go on Quizilla and read whatever caught my eye on the "Most Popular" list. One title stuck out: "'I Wrote An Arranged Marriage Story. Now, If You'll Excuse Me, I Have Some Suicide to Commit." I know it's...

I've grown accustomed to the habit of posting the lyrics of whatever song I'm listening to as the title of things. Not specifically on Mibba; On my tumblr or live journal, too.I saw the movie "Super 8" today! Even if my main reason for watching it was the fact that Scotty McCreery endorsed it on American Idol- I ended up loving it in the end! I reccomend it to anyone that likes... hmm well I'm...

Last night I attempted to post a journal, but most of it was incoherent. I deleted it and decided it would be best to just start over. So here it is.Anyways, yesterday I had my friend, Marina, over. She had this brilliant idea that it would be fun to clean my room, so naturally I agreed. I needed my room cleaned anyways. But it didn't exactly happen the way I expected; I spent all night picking...

I'm typing this in my art class. We had to turn in an essay instead of do an actual final, so we all have an hour and a half to just do whatever we want in here. I think most people are actually doing art related things, but I just got on the inter-web. :)I ended up doing something on saturday after all. I went garage sale hunting with two of my friends. It was really fun driving around with the...

Since I have a room in the basement, I only have one window. It's the kind that opens up to a window well, where you can find toads in summer. I haven't found any toads yet, but every night I hear these hissing noises from all of the June bugs that collect there. It used to scare me, but I don't mind it as much anymore.I really have no motivation to do anything right now. I guess that's okay,...

So I've been thinking for awhile. About alot of things I guess, but mainly one being the kind of person that I want to be. I've never been a person that I was proud of. But within the past two years I've learned to appreciate everything that I've been through, because it made me who I am now.Of course, even so, I still want to better myself. I'm finally a person that I can live with, but sometimes...