Dreams..to..Live. / Comments

hallo im starting a new tokio hotel fan fiction, can you please check it out and tell me what you think? I would really appreciate it, thank you.
here's the link:
http://stories.mibba.com/read/421682/Zoom-into-me/

GIRLLLLL!!! I vote we need to have a chat with everyone sometime soon. :)
Let me know when you can get online for awhile so we can plan this sucka out!

Awww, reading all the quotes and stuff on your profile makes me smile and want to cry at the same time! (especially "You'll have your lessons and I'll have my world. <3" I almost forgot I said that. >.< But, seriously... I was such a cheese-ball! XD) I miss those days. It's crazy to think about all the time that's passed since we first met each other... love ya, SHSASS! :D

Text me back, woman! XD
Kidding. I'm sure you're busy or sleeping. XD

I'm phoneless right now!
D:

See, that's what I needed. You need to be honest with me about this stuff or we're never going to get anywhere. To me it felt like you were hiding stuff and it just snowballed on and on until it got so big you exploded. Now that I know exactly why you're pissed, we can fix stuff.

Alright. So. The thing about me whining. I'm going to go ahead and say that I did have a reason for it, a legit reason, although it's also my fault and I shouldn't have done it so much. Okay, listen. You know that my mom's a nutcase. But it's hard to really see what it does to my mind. I know you hate when I say "You'd have to be me to understand fully" but it's like that with everything and everyone. You're just going to have to trust me and I'm just going to have to trust you. We're both different people with different families, you know? Like, we can try to understand each other but we never will fully understand. I try to understand as much about your dad as I can and you do the same with my mom. But there are times when it's going to be hard because we need to fully understand and we can't.

My mom, basically, fucked up my mind. I'm going to say that straight out. Now that I'm out of that house, I can see what life is supposed to be like. I'll compare it to something...it's like I had a house sitting on me, or a heavy rock, or something, while I was living there. That's why everything seemed so much worse than it would be normally. If my mom did something like leave me alone at home while she and the kids went to church and lunch, it wasn't "oh darn", it was "I was fucking getting ready and she left without me so that must mean that I'm not good enough and that she doesn't love me." It was abandonment, you know? I'm not good with abandonment. And her leaving me like that was telling me I wasn't important enough to take with her. It was all stuff like that and just take that and magnify it like a million times and that's how hard it was for me. I know I didn't have anything to do, no job, no taking care of siblings 24/7, and so on. I know. And I was talking to my dad about it in the car not even three days ago and we were saying the same thing. I know you have it so hard, Aislinn. I know you're basically a parent to your siblings and that it's difficult beyond belief. But I feel like you don't realize that that's not the only way things can be difficult. It's like, you think that I don't have any room to talk because I got to laze around all day and so on and so forth. But it's not like that. There are different ways of having things hard, you know? And that's why I was annoyed with you. Because I was ready to fucking (not cursing at you) commit suicide again and the only thing that was keeping me from doing it was the possibility of coming to my dad's house and the knowledge that I have people in the world that I love and that love me. It was so hard. And I just felt like you didn't understand that.
You know? :/

Yeah, okay, you didn't ask what annoyed me. But just because I tell you what does doesn't mean I'm blaming you for anything. I know I have my faults and you have yours. The only way people can get past things is by talking about what frustrates them about each other, and then they both work on it. I'm not saying "It's your fault we're having this discussion because you do this, this, and this." I'm saying "Look, it really annoys me that you do this, this, and this; how can we change it? And same with me."

No. "You change your mind too much." That right there is blaming. But what I did there was answer what annoyed me about you. And I'm sure if I asked you to list the things that annoy you about me you could come up with a list, too. That's not blaming you for anything.

I didn't SAY it was all your fault so stop putting words in my mouth. I don't think it's all your fault, and that annoys the hell out of me how you do that. You make it seem like I'm trying to complain about you when in reality I'm just trying to see what you mean by something and telling you what frustrates me that I need explanation about.

Because I was always having shit happen. And it was confusing because, like, one time you'd be saying I talk too much about Bill and then when I changed for you, you'd say that I didn't talk enough about him. And so on. I didn't know how to talk to you because I had to change what I was saying constantly. :/

I just honestly don't know what I did wrong. We were talking and suddenly you were telling me I was bitching and that I treat you like a secondhand friend and I was sitting there wondering what the hell happened. So I'm not really sure where I went wrong. If I was, I'd apologize, but since I'm unsure of what I did...yeah. :/

My phone has been cut off for quite some time now so I hope you check your comments, because otherwise you'll never know that I sent this. :/

Are you ever going to talk to me again?
I was just confused, okay? I just didn't get how I treat you like a secondhand friend, and I don't see how I bitch about Liz. I came to you when I didn't understand what she meant by something, you know? I wasn't trying to bitch, I was trying to understand what she meant and asking you for it. And yeah, my family sucks but I should probably stop ranting about them. Anyway, I won't be for a long time because...

...I'm moving out next week. :)
I'd really, really like it if we could...well, not "be friends again" because we still are (I hope) but if we could reconcile, or whatever. I'd like to be happy with you. Liz is way busy and never checks her Mibba and I obviously can't text her since my mom didn't pay the bill, but I know you come on here frequently enough, so...yeah.
I'd like you to be happy with me, you know? I feel like I'm happy all by myself.
I want all of us to be happy with me because this is a big thing.
And yeah.
I just want us all to be friends and close and everything.
Things are going to change next week.
You know?

<3

RIGHT?!
I saw the picture and was like "MUST. MAKE. A. LAYOUT."
XDDDD
Idgaf how simple it is. It's effing awe-some. :D

Mhm. That's how it is for me. :/
Or I give myself a time limit and go "Okay, you have homework to do. get off at blahblah *insert time here*" but then I get distracted and never remember to go work on it until it's like 9-10 or something. And then by the time I finish it's really late and I'm exhausted. >:[
Procrastination, oh how I hate you. XD

Hahah no worries. When we hang out, we're so going to Carl's! :D
...even if I prefer chicken, [I'm really weird about fast food burgers for some reason. XD] we'll go and get a Western bacon whatever burger for you. XDDD

LOL. I think it can happen to anybody. Sometimes even me, I'll be on by I wont reply because I'm too lazy, or because I really do skip the comments.
XD

Yeah, true. I need to get a physical soon >_>
ROTFL. I did not know that...well, maybe I've experienced because when I went to magic mountain; STORY TIME! So, we were in line for this gold rush...ride thing and we got on and we were like "Okay, so after this one we should really leave for that jesus concert because it starts soon. This is a nice ride that will calm us down." Our friend assured us that it went easy, so they starts it up and once it turned the corner it started to go HELLA FREAKING FAST and it was night time, so we were freaking out and screaming and like my friend was like shounting "OMFG! IT'S LIKE FINAL DESTINATION!" ....we went on that ride like 3 times, and that's when we proceeded to go on Riddlers Revenge.
XD

Oh, for sure, son!
Hahaha! OMG! I love those fast passes!
I remember I used one at California for the tower of terror...wait, it is at California, right? well, anywho, I used one along with my sister and cousins and we then cut like everyone and were like "YEAHHHH!"
XD


...Yes. Pre-Calc, Physics, English 3 honors, French 3, etc. XD
Oh, sounds awesome! I like how some cools have way different classes where they'll actually learn something if they want to incorporate that into a major.

Hahaha okay! I'll try to get online more often. Inez and I have been wanting to go on chat too but I haven't been able to. :x

DUDE!! That's the burger my brother gets! I didn't know it was called that though. XDDD
... Talk about a heart attack between buns... XDDDDD

I'll have to look it up later! :D
XD

...I knew that.
>.>
<.<
XDDD
I haven't eaten at Carl's in forever! D:
XD

I haven't seen that one! XD

But I'm assuming the guy was *drool* or else you wouldn't have told me. XDD
Randomness, FTW! XD

LOL XD I always forget about mibba when I'm out with friends and having too much fun. XD

Yeah. I'm a little iffy about sports this year. If I can handle lacrosse or not.
THEY DO? Like at the end of the day, they make the ride faster? Is that even allowed!? Don't they follow like a..fast rule?
XD ROTFL.

ROTFL! That's so true! Everyone bitches about it! ....I bitched about it. oh well! XD
YEAH! That one! I didn't go on that one because it's too big and there's a flip, so hell no! I'm never going on that one! (lie) I probably would if my friends would go on it. My friends influence me at amusement parks!
XD

Aww, that's great. I hope she keeps walking!
:D

Yeah, Junior. Whoop >_>
My classes are....I screwed myself over with class because when I got my schedule I was like "WOAH! When did I sign up for that?" and then it's like "OH YEAH. I remember >_>" XD
LOL. Aww, I hope you don't get crappy classes.

Ugh, that sucks. D: I remember when it was like that all the time for me when my mom worked two jobs. It sucked for real. Well, hopefully this upcoming year is better for you. :/

Me too. XD Except for Akon who is more hip hop. I like a few rap songs, but not much. I'm used to rap, though. It's Jersey music. XD

You probably are. Because I haven't gotten a comment from you on any of my stuff in ages. I feel sad because of that. :(

I know, I've seen the video on AMtv. XD I come out at like seven in the morning and turn it on, and yeah. It's almost always on. ;p