So it's good, I like it. The thing is, you've got a lot of what I call "rhyming on purpose." What rhyming on purpose is, is that you've written a line that shows how you really feel, and then the next line has been made just so that it rhymes. It doesn't have any real feeling. Compare
"Nontheless you're too much drama and not enough reality; you made me feel raw
It too me a while to see what other people saw"
Both lines are full of meaning, and they have a purpose, whereas
"You make my skin crawl whenever we hug
You were never a true friend, you were a disgusting bug"
Because in that line you're resorting to insulting, which is something you should never do, because it's immature, and lacks feeling. Whenever you write, don't TRY to rhyme. Free verse is, a lot of the time, better than rhyming, I find, because rhyming often seems too forced. You do have a lot of good moments, I like
"I miss our friendship and our calls late at night
I hate that no matter what it feels like we fight"
a LOT because I know what that feels like, and the lines are really giving something to the poem. I also, personally, dislike slang words such as 'frenemies'. It's not a real word and therefore has no real meaning.
Last thing: your meter's a little weird at sometimes, but it really does work, at moments. Poems are meant to be read out loud, so read it to yourself and see how it sounds.
All in all a good poem. I have had a friend stab me in the back and pretend that we're still friends out in the open, and then act the victim around other people, and I think that this portrayed it rather well.
Well that's my advice, take it or leave it. I don't mind if you ignore it, it's just what I think!
So it's good, I like it. The thing is, you've got a lot of what I call "rhyming on purpose." What rhyming on purpose is, is that you've written a line that shows how you really feel, and then the next line has been made just so that it rhymes. It doesn't have any real feeling. Compare
"Nontheless you're too much drama and not enough reality; you made me feel raw
It too me a while to see what other people saw"
Both lines are full of meaning, and they have a purpose, whereas
"You make my skin crawl whenever we hug
You were never a true friend, you were a disgusting bug"
Because in that line you're resorting to insulting, which is something you should never do, because it's immature, and lacks feeling. Whenever you write, don't TRY to rhyme. Free verse is, a lot of the time, better than rhyming, I find, because rhyming often seems too forced. You do have a lot of good moments, I like
"I miss our friendship and our calls late at night
I hate that no matter what it feels like we fight"
a LOT because I know what that feels like, and the lines are really giving something to the poem. I also, personally, dislike slang words such as 'frenemies'. It's not a real word and therefore has no real meaning.
Last thing: your meter's a little weird at sometimes, but it really does work, at moments. Poems are meant to be read out loud, so read it to yourself and see how it sounds.
All in all a good poem. I have had a friend stab me in the back and pretend that we're still friends out in the open, and then act the victim around other people, and I think that this portrayed it rather well.
Well that's my advice, take it or leave it. I don't mind if you ignore it, it's just what I think!
[x]