You have a great rhythm in this, which is important when there's rhyming. The lines ending with "here" do not sound like over kill, like they so often do in other poems. You kept the feeling of them being part of the poem, to the point where, without them, it actually wouldn't sound as nice.
"How can I be that of who used to be me?" It's truly amazing how lies can change us. They penetrate deep down to the very foundation of our personalities. There's always a day where we stop and think about the past and the present, and there's always that moment where you say, "I can't believe I used to be like that."
"Blinded by the truth. Deaf because of lies." Thos are my favorite lines. They're about the familar conflict. It's incredible, in a strange way, how both lies and truth can wound. It doesn't make much sense, but in this world, what does? That's the beauty in it all, I think. And you took something that doesn't make sense and put it into a wonderful sequence of words.
"How can I be that of who used to be me?" It's truly amazing how lies can change us. They penetrate deep down to the very foundation of our personalities. There's always a day where we stop and think about the past and the present, and there's always that moment where you say, "I can't believe I used to be like that."
"Blinded by the truth. Deaf because of lies." Thos are my favorite lines. They're about the familar conflict. It's incredible, in a strange way, how both lies and truth can wound. It doesn't make much sense, but in this world, what does? That's the beauty in it all, I think. And you took something that doesn't make sense and put it into a wonderful sequence of words.
I love the blunt ending line. Magnificent work!