The first two stanzas are great. Great rhythm and nice rhymes (except from the rhyme “back”, “crack” which I personally think feels forced). Then you stopped writing by your rhyming scheme. And the rhythm got messed up and the straightforwardness of the poem was compromised. It gets rough to read when you keep changing the way you rhyme in each stanza without any structure. Try to stick to some kind of rhyming structure.
Also “You find your savor and push him away.” feels repetitive since you’ve already used ”away” to rhyme and because you basically say the same thing as in stanza two (“You’re pushing everyone away.”).
When it comes to the wording all stanzas are awesome though. And I really like the last stanza, nice way to end your poem! Keep on writing ^_^
Also “You find your savor and push him away.” feels repetitive since you’ve already used ”away” to rhyme and because you basically say the same thing as in stanza two (“You’re pushing everyone away.”).
When it comes to the wording all stanzas are awesome though. And I really like the last stanza, nice way to end your poem! Keep on writing ^_^