Ascent to Hell - Comments

  • AmorarEsDeVivir

    AmorarEsDeVivir (100)

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    I find the idea of "ascending" to hell interesting.

    I lovelovelove the first two lines. <3 I don't know why, just...the alliteration in the first line pulled me in, and the idea of the clouds holding you in place, just the way you describe your interactions with the objects around you, it's just beautiful.

    One thing that I could suggest is to focus on meter and keeping consistent amounts of syllables per line. In free form poetry it's not as important, but in rhyming poetry, it can make the rhymes sound awkward if they're not spaced out properly.

    Other than that, though, your imagery is absolutely wonderful and compelling. <3
    June 19th, 2011 at 08:13am
  • Faryn_and_Adalia

    Faryn_and_Adalia (100)

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    I love your voice and your words. You're very descriptives, I love it. Your words flow very well. ^^
    December 13th, 2010 at 11:25pm