You Can Fight With Me - Comments

There's emotion in this, that much I can tell. The emotion packs a lot in this, and it's clear as daylight, and that brings this poem to life.
All I can really say is well done, this poem has a life through that emotion, and that's something amazing to do. Really, well done.

Wow, this is fantastic!

I love the way you address the reader in role, using "you". Your character seems to be very twisted and powerful, and I, as a reader, felt quite patronised by him. If this wasn't your intention, I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, as I found it to be very effective and emotive.

Your labguage use is also lovely. Right from the first line, you draw the reader in with your vivid vocabulary and the interesting images that you create, some violent, some shocking, some empowering. It's fantastic how you manipulate the reader's thoughts with your choice of words, and it works so, so well.

It's a brilliant poem!

WHOA BRAVO BRAVO!!!!! [i]crowd stands up and claps and cheers[/i] i for 1 loved it. it's not written from the mind, but from deep within the soul and heart. and it's very strong in the emotions. LuV IT!!!