Don't let this be the end - Comments

Wahahwahhh. *speechlessness* Well not really speechless. Least not for long :D Anyways, wahhh, Wow. This was really good, I could really connect to it. I think a poem is always better if I can connect to it personally, and wow did I CONNECT. This was really good, and as I can see a lot of your poems have a free flow kinda thang going on. I think it's pretty unique. Word of advice, read them out loud. See if they flow, see if the words mingle and make some sort of rhythm. Poetry is always more fun and enjoyable to read if there is a rhythm.

It feels like you're having an arguement in this and you're being talked over and you know that's so stressful.

As the comments below have said, it's like it's being addressed at the reader personally. I like how the vocabulary is simple, it weirdly enough suits the poem in which you've wrote.

Again great emotion. I thought of anger and hurt and it was just very wonderful.

I must agree with [b]WTFMusicPerson[/b] about the stanza formation. It would make this lovely poem all the better if you attach some lines together. Either way, I really <3 this poem. It speaks exactly what I wish I had the courage to tell my mother. (In other words, I can totally relate.) It's a beautiful poem, love! <3

I really liked how this one is because it's obviously crying out and it uses the word ~you~ which makes the reader feel like they are being addressed personally and would draw them more to whats being said and the emotions being directed.

I think certain parts would have been more effective if they where attached in to a big idea for more power instead of standing separated like here:[i]

Stop saying the words I've already heard a million times
I am not stupid
I understand
Don't tell me how I'm feeling
[/i]

And here:[i]

I feel like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs but no one hears me
I am so desperate
Listen to me!
I'm shouting at you what I need[/i]


I feel like it would give the stand alone phrases more oomph and over all more shape instead of having it all seem like one giant block with no emphasis.