You Owe Me (Ode to the little guy) - Comments

This was great. I especially liked the refrain. I can hear a tune to this in my head which makes it even more enjoyable. You're right, power does need an outlet and when someone chooses a person as their outlet, they don't like it when they fight back. This, since I can hear a tune to it sounds like a very inspirational song. Very catchy, it shows people they don't have to just stand by and let something happen. Very great job! :)

This is just fantastic.
You have this flow to your songs that's just astounding.

I like this one. A GREAT concept and your metaphors are amazing. Your wording and flow go well together. It's one of those songs that kind of make you want to do something with yourself, you know? Good job.

I don't think that I liked this as much as [i]As Long As You're My Girl[/i]. It's not that it's just more negative. I thought it read more choppy. I didn't get the same flow from this that I did from the other one. Of course, if you're writing as lyrics, it's also a lot harder to follow them without the music behind it. In the very least, I've always had that problem.

Still, it's better than any poem I've ever written, and I think the power of the emotion you were trying to convey still came through loud and clear. Your word choice was perfect for this poem.

Also, I keep forgetting to say this: You've really got to watch your grammar on this site. I know you're new to the site and all, so I doubt anyone's said it to you yet. But, the first poem had a grammar mistake in the title, your journal had grammar mistakes, and there are a few in this. You've just gotta watch it on this site, and make sure you edit everything.

Very nice, very nice indeed.

I fucking love this!
Best lyrics I've heard in a long time!