Burnning - Comments

Is it weird that the first thing i think of is roasting marshmallows? Anyway i really like the poem, and I know my guess what probably really really off but i thought id mention it anyway.

Mm, I can relate to the feeling but I won't pretend to know what it's about because only the author ever really does, aha.
But I love this, especially your unique format and description. I think despite the lack of complexity, this poem is very emotional and very deep.
I love it.

title: *burning
1st line:*within
2nd line:*They're, *it's
lines 6-7:*can't
7th line: I can't make *it go back down to the pits *from which it came
Last line: No-one *nor nothing is *listening to me

Ok sorry to be a grammar nazi. I just feel really strongly that poems should have correct grammar (esp. in the title). But besides that I sort of like this poem. The thing part comparing it to bile is nice. It feels really short and half said. I honestly don't have much of a guess of what this is about. My best guess is that it's about remaining silent when you have something to say, (or not remaining silent because it bursts out).
But that's another thing I can't really relate. I don't know what you're saying.
Overall though, nice poem. It's colorful and a nice read :)

First off..I think you meant "Listening to me" in that last sentence.
Not "Listing".
Second, I like the form. It's interesting some rhyme but only if you're paying attention for it.
Third, I think the emotion behind this is lacking a LITTLE bit. Literally only a little bit. I say that because it seems like there' not much passion. Although..I feel a sense of hate in here. I'm not sure if that's just my imagination or what, but I sense it :/

Hope your okay with this comment. It's midnight and I have to TRY to sleep..LOL