Death, Be Proud - Comments

I’d just like to clarify the meaning behind this poem. In this I attempted to personify death and show how it happens suddenly to everyone, how it affects the living, and how it is invulnerable. John Donne, a metaphysical poet, wrote a poem called “Death Be Not Proud” in which he mentions how Death must take everyone thus making him a servant to all. Death is indestructible and inevitable. It causes so much pain and suffering. For that reason, it should be proud. Nothing can divert Death or have such great power. And to me, pride is neither something good nor bright. I have seen in literature how pride can be a fatal flaw. I see pride as something one should not have too much of. Death is so powerful that it has every right to be proud and I think if it were animate, it would be.

Hopefully that clears intentions up a bit.

It's very visually dynamic and well written. There's just one problem, I don't really get from the words why Death should be proud? You paint it in dark shadows of colour, but never tell us why it should be allowed the brief bright colour of pride...unless your trying to tell us pride is dark as well which I can now see (as I write this out it comes to me). Keep writing!