November 19th, 2012 at 09:40pm
The emotion you convey in this is really intense and I feel like I've somehow stumbled into something exceedingly personal. Though the bit that really got me hooked was the rhyme between 'return' and 'yearn,' which may seem a little odd to point out, but it completely triggered empathy in me as a reader for the loss. It's so real and sincere.
I also really like the way the mood and loving tone develops throughout. It's both well-done and gut-wrenching.
The line "Tell the family I miss them and I wish I could be there soon" almost had me in tears.
This is so powerful and beautiful, and I really can't fault it.
Awww. Thank you! My dad wrote a lot of it, but I wrote the second verse of it. We wrote it for my grandmother (his mom) on the anniversary of his dad's death. You can find the song on YouTube. All you have to do is look up BadPennyDonnie and you can find his recording of "In Heaven Together"