I like your use of anaphora in this. :D it's good, and it creates a flow in the poem.
One thing I'll pick at is that in the poem is the lack of description. I mean, it's fine right now without it, but I would prefer describing what it means to see or hear these things other than the fact that it has an "affect"
But one of my all time favorite lines from this piece is the end "even if it isn't with me even if it hurts me. your smile is something i always like to see." It's a really good stinger to the end.
it's good, and it creates a flow in the poem.
One thing I'll pick at is that in the poem is the lack of description. I mean, it's fine right now without it, but I would prefer describing what it means to see or hear these things other than the fact that it has an "affect"
But one of my all time favorite lines from this piece is the end
"even if it isn't with me
even if it hurts me.
your smile is something i always like to see."
It's a really good stinger to the end.