My world - Comments

  • Rosi S Phillips

    Rosi S Phillips (100)

    :
    Member
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    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    Dear Aingeal Dawn,

    I was pleased to read your poem. It was short, sweet, yet to the point. As a reader I felt that the ending almost wasn't an ending, I had to read ot over again because honestly I was expecting more. Of course this is my own view. Other that that I would advise you to break it up into smaller stanzas, that might help readers follow along and get the impact you desire. Overall I thought you did a fine job, your spelling was excellent, and you didn't force your rhymes.

    Please keep writing.")
    -Rosi
    April 14th, 2013 at 07:35am