July 1st, 2013 at 05:35pm
This was incredibly interesting, and definitely NOT something that I expected! I didn’t expect at all to get an entry that was a poem, and I think that was a clever way for you to distinguish yourself from the other stories. I don’t usually read poems or seek them out, especially ones that tell an actual plot. But I was content with the work, and it was actually pretty breezy for me to read straight through. When I first saw the layout, I figured that this would be a typical horror story/poem, and that it might have a few scares or frights. I love the tree background, especially with the box of text being slightly transparent in front of it. It makes it look incredibly gloomy and dark, which immediately sets the mood.
The first thing that struck me about this story, is the quality of the writing. It’s down-right perfect. You’re an excellent writer, and this passage sounds incredibly sophisticated and yet down to earth. The rawness of your language, as well as the imagery you employ, it’s what brings the story together. I honestly think that the quality of the writing is what I enjoyed most about this piece, and how much I could just sit there and enjoy the delicacy of your words. I could see this especially in the parts where you were describing the creature.
“Maggots crawled in the place of its heart...
Sloshing and squishing betwixt my ears.”
This part specifically got to me, there’s something special about that bit. It just made me stop a little and think about how deep that really was.
You used just the right amount of imagery, and heavily dosed your writing in it. I could imagine exactly what you wanted me to imagine, and it actually made me feel the raw emotions that you evoked. I was confused when I needed to be, I was repulsed when I needed to be, I was relieved when I needed to be. I just think that you have established a good level of communication through to the reader, and well- me. This couldn’t have been done with middle class stuff, so you should definitely feel satisfied. You have thought out every single line and every single verse. It may not need rhyming or any other cliché language devices that poems use, but I just adore the way you went about it.
Anyway! Again, this was not the kind of entry I expected, but it was a refreshing read. It didn’t scare me unfortunately, but it didn’t really seem to be the aim of this passage anyway. Very unique, very different, and nothing like I’ve ever read. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the writing, so give yourself a thorough pat on the back!
Thanks for your entry, and good luck!
You said it all :) Thanks for the encouragement and kind review!!