V-I: Silver Pens and Paper Skin - Comments

@ southpaw
I was really hoping you'd choose this one actually c: first off thank you so much, it's been a long time running, but I've finally gotten to a place in my writing that I'm actually really happy with now, there's always space enough to grow of course, but I'm proud of a lot of what I've been churning out lately. I don't exactly have a specific rhyme scheme I start with, I just write what I think would sound good as far as wording goes, but the tempo is super important in my pieces. Out of the whole thing the last two lines are my favorite as well, it gives it a certain little bit of softness that ties all the edge and seriousness of emotion together. Everything you just said is exactly what I was going for, so thank you <3

First off, I love the pacing and rhythm in this, good lord! I read it out loud while I figured out the tempo, and it rolled forward so naturally. I also love the imagery; I can tell that a lot of emotion went into this. The repetition is great, too – it’s hard to master, but you put it in all the right places to keep the poem fairly concise but still incredibly powerful. My favorite part was the last two lines. They don’t rhyme in the same way most of the poem does, but that’s not an issue in the slightest – the rhythm ties them together and keeps the poem cohesive as a whole. This is an incredible work, and you’re a very talented writer! c:

@ The Warden's Wife
Well thank you. It is coming from the darkest place I've ever been. I'm currently there but I'm glad you liked it. It's actually one of my favorites of mine to be honest.

I have never read a poem written like this before, but it's dark, and I really like it =)