Little Girl Lost - Comments

  • I like the slant rhyme you use in this. And I really liked the first two lines, especially the second.

    The rest of the poem gives little glimpses into the character's personality, like the fact that she drinks, takes pills, gambles, and lies. The simplicity of these little confessions about her is very appealing.

    But I do find myself kind of wanting more. There isn't much detail to give her personality or to make it feel realistic. You don't get a sense of how she feels, why she does these things, how she reacts to her own behavior. Only that she does these things, and it leaves me as a reader feeling like I still don't really know the character even with all these secrets revealed about her.
    July 9th, 2014 at 07:05pm
  • I like the feels in this piece. In Love And I like you rhymes too! I for the life of me can never rhyme. Facepalm That's why all of my poems are free verse. tehe
    June 11th, 2014 at 07:56pm