I like the slant rhyme you use in this. And I really liked the first two lines, especially the second.
The rest of the poem gives little glimpses into the character's personality, like the fact that she drinks, takes pills, gambles, and lies. The simplicity of these little confessions about her is very appealing.
But I do find myself kind of wanting more. There isn't much detail to give her personality or to make it feel realistic. You don't get a sense of how she feels, why she does these things, how she reacts to her own behavior. Only that she does these things, and it leaves me as a reader feeling like I still don't really know the character even with all these secrets revealed about her.
The rest of the poem gives little glimpses into the character's personality, like the fact that she drinks, takes pills, gambles, and lies. The simplicity of these little confessions about her is very appealing.
But I do find myself kind of wanting more. There isn't much detail to give her personality or to make it feel realistic. You don't get a sense of how she feels, why she does these things, how she reacts to her own behavior. Only that she does these things, and it leaves me as a reader feeling like I still don't really know the character even with all these secrets revealed about her.