July 9th, 2014 at 07:50pm
Your poem, 22, was interesting. I liked how you chose an age like 22. Most people choose 18 or 21, so I thought you choosing 22 was really nice. It added a nice element to the poem. I thought that you had nice word choices and your poem packed a nice amount of punch. Your poem was powerful!
"When we turn 22/Will our life be mixed with old and new" I thought that it should have had a question mark, because I think that would have helped with the flow of the poem. I think bu not putting it there, I kept on reading, like it was one long line, and that may have been the point, but I just found myself being uncertain about that.
I do think you wrote a really great poem though. I think that you managed to write something really nicely.
Thank you for the feedback! :-)
I've never really written poetry and I was unsure on how to use punctuation poetically.