July 11th, 2014 at 12:41am
For starters this is impossible to read unless you highlight it. So that is really not a good thing if you want people to be able to read it. It does take away from the experience as a reader because you can't read it. The colors are way off, and I think you should fix it.
With that being said this poem had a nice amount of promise and potential. I thought that what you did well was titling the poem and how you ended the poem. the title was captivating, and didn't give too much away, but it drew in me and that's a good thing.
I liked how in the first stanza you did full then fulled and then full again. I think that added a nice element and it helped with the flow of the poem a great deal. I think that you managed to really make the idea of "The eye of the beholder" but something more than just a saying. You personified it and I liked that.
However, I felt myself wanting more from the poem. I felt like there was something slightly incomplete about the poem. I wanted another stanza or something because I think it was a little short and it needed more development for it to live up to its full potential. I think you just need to think about making sure the reader is not left wanting more in a bad way. Wanting more in the sense of satisfaction, but it was so good you wished it would never end is one thing. However,when a reader is left wanting more because the experience feels unfinished then it's not the best thing.
I think that you do have a lot of promise and potential.
Thank you so much for the feedback! Also, thank for pointing out the issue with the layout. I did this on my phone, so I didn't even realize that I chose the wrong layout! Next time I'll be sure to continue on with my poem so it doesn't feel unfinished :)