Pain - Comments

thats very true i no i cant feel no pain now lol

Okay, I agree with the last commenter, on some parts. I think it flowed alright, and for your first poem since the second grade, I think you're doing alright and I will credit you that. You used a lot of metaphors, or almost metaphors, I'm not sure, that was the one part of english I never grasped; metaphors. But 'Pain is a monster' is a metaphor, I believe. 'It lives and feeds off your heart' is personification. And there's a few more, but kudos to you for trying, a lot of people are just too afraid. I'll gladly help you as well if you want it, and it is a bit confusing, but good.

I credit you with the fact that this is your first poem since second grade, but honestly, the way each line was constructed made the poem very dfficult to read. It didn't flow very well on account of this... And the last line just confused me. What exactly did you mean by that when the rest of the poem is talking about the reality of pain?

And, when you say "it just won't stop, you can get on top", I was completely lost. There are many things that need to be explained and edited, which I will help you with if need be.