April 28th, 2009 at 05:28am
first off I'd like to add that I'm no poet.
though I like the stuff
i espescially like the stuff when it isn't bottled. i get the feel from this, that it's kind of unbearably predictable. i liked the whole concept of one lone figure getting lost in the grand scheme of things, but i wish you'd let loose a little. I hate people who hound rhyming, since I think it's a perfectly acceptable and valuable form of poetry, but free form leaves so much room for creativity and lets you maintain a hint of your own voice, which is what makes reading poetry so interesting. it's like looking into the inside of someone elses head.
I was reading through this though, and I gotta say that I like your use of imagery and vocabulary, the two far surpass almost everything else I've read on this site. I guess that's why I'm commenting which I normally don't do. I think you have the capacity to write really great stuff if you'd channel it into a more productive way than the cliche spreading of wings and standard form of poetry.
And this is coming form me, I'm awful at poetry and I don't really care to read poetry. But this, this is good enough to change my mind!